After their slam dunk with anti-tax kamikaze Andrew Joseph Stack, liberals hoped to rack up more political points with another right-wing act of terror. When the news broke of a gunman loose in Washington, breathless liberal bloggers and political email spammers burst into action.

According to blog enthusiast cheneyMUSTdie, who subscribes to over 1500 blogs and frequently posts the same comment on each of them: "OMG TEH WINGNUTS ARE KILLING AGAIN!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!!"

A new video posted by an independent filmmaker posing as a samba dancer has surfaced depicting an ACORN staffer assisting a Black (known in this video as “Max”) making unreasonable — and possibly child prostitution-related — requests.

Blogger Jon Swift died on Feb. 27. His mother left this comment on his blog:

In the second biggest performance of her career, Sarah Palin stunned Jay Leno and Tonight Show viewers with her wit and delivery, but more importantly, her honesty. In fact-checking her stand-up routine on the Tonight Show last night, The Chronicles have found her routine was mostly truthful.

AKRON — Edward Crone and his family had just finished saying grace and were prepared to begin eating dinner when Senate Republicans – led by the retiring Jim Bunning – burst through the door and threatened to filibuster the meal.

“We see no way that the Crone family can possibly pay for this meal,” said Bunning. “If the Crone family can’t offset the price of a meal, what will they offset.”

Caught off guard, Senate Democrats said they had no choice but to cancel the Crone’s dinner, as the mere threat of the filibuster was an unbeatable weapon against them.

WASHINGTON – Inside sources confirm that U.S. President Barack Obama – completely hammered on Coors Light and Alabama Slammers – choked the living daylights out of Republican Senator Jim Bunning, today.

According to pretend journalist Andrew Breitbart, “The worst thing you can do …in politically correct America…is accuse somebody of being a (sic) racism.”

Let’s see if I can make it a little worser:

Andrew Breitbart is a cowardly racist.

Pass it on.

--WKW

Whether they are Islamic, Christian or Scientologists, religious fundamentalists are truly an evil people. How else to explain the “Girls dressing provocatively are just asking to be raped” leaflet being handed out to girls in Bristol, Va.:

“You may have been given this leaflet because of the way you are dressed,” it begins. “Have you thought about standing before the true and living God to be judged?”

Do you have Torts? Do you wake up each morning to see a Tort-infested life that is destroying everything you hold dear?

If that’s the case, then William K. Wolfrum’s Tort Reformation* is here for you.

It is with great sadness that I announce that Gatorade has dropped Tiger Woods as a sponsor. No, it wasn't because they finally realized that golfers don't actually need electrolytes, it's far more nefarious than that. They dropped Tiger because he was doing the only thing that really required Gatorade - having sex with dozens and dozens of women not named Mrs. Woods.

Reading some of the news coverage about the murderers Amy Bishop and Joe Stack over the last two weeks, and some of the responses to them by internet commenters, I've had the nauseating feeling that Bishop and Stack have gotten what they want. Not what they purport to want, of course, not a promotion or a revolution, but the things that their violence was actually aimed at getting them. I've had a hard time putting my objection into clear words, so I'm going to resort to a story from history:

If you go to the Drudge Report right now, you'll see the teaser:

PAPER: Soros 'at center of hedge funds plot to cash in on demise of the euro'...

If you click on the link, you'll see the Mail Online headline:

Man who broke the Bank of England, George Soros, 'at centre of hedge funds plot to cash in on fall of the euro'

If you read the lead paragraph, you'll see:

A secretive group of Wall Street hedge fund bosses are said to be behind a plot to cash in on the decline of the euro.

So President Obama's health care summit didn't go anywhere it wasn't expected to go. The Democrats made noises about bipartisan compromise and asked for Republican input. The Republicans demanded the whole bill (or more accurately both the bills) be scrapped entirely. The Democrats got no concessions. No reasonable person would have expected anything else at this point. And Barack Obama, who is a fairly reasonable person, must have expected to play out much the way it did.

What is the most persecuted demographic in the nation? It's not the blacks, the Jews, or the Hispanics, and certainly not the gays. One victim stands out in the gruesome annals of discrimination: the Beauty Queen.

The latest sacrifice to the bottomless hunger of the gay liberal hate monster is Miss Beverly Hills, Lauren Ashley. Ashley simply quoted an innocent line from the Bible:

HEAVEN – God, the all-powerful entity that controls all things on the planet, spoke to his people today for the first time in hundreds of years. Using the voice of actor Dennis Haysbert so that he wouldn’t shatter the eardrums and souls of ordinary humans, God was swift and to the point.

WASHINGTON – Despite hours of negotiations, President Barack Obama and Congressional Democrats were unable to move a brick wall in the center of the White House.

“This wall is weighing down the entire nation, but it just won’t listen to reason,” said Obama at a special press conference. “But I’m dedicated to offering it more leverage in these negotiations.”

The layman definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting different results.

That mentality, incidentally, also appears to be the cornerstone of Republican politics. We have seen it many times before: start a war or two, give tax cuts to the rich, and expect the national debt to decrease. If at first you don't succeed...

JERSEY – MTV has announced a new cast for its hit show “Jersey Shore.” After seeing a group of unknown Italian Americans take the nation by storm and put “Guido and Guidette” into popular culture, this season, some of America’s top Conservatives will have everyone talking about “Cons and Conettes.”