Just thinking …

On Friday, the Obama administration granted temporary protected status to any Haitian immigrants in the United States that were awaiting deportation. That means that about 30,000 Haitians will be able to stay in the United States and work legally for up to 18 months. And in yet another example of Republican projection, Rep Steve King (R-IA) suggested that the order was an example of the “Never let a crisis go to waste” philosophy.

For those of you that enjoy a good serial, I whole-heartedly advise you to spend a little time paying attention to Overstock.com CEO Patrick Byrne. Because, day-in, day-out, Byrne delivers the goods.

On my way to Jakarta, I had a nine hour layover in Seoul, Korea. As I was planning my trip, I considered spending that time sight-seeing or finding a restaurant with some excellent bi bim bop. But then I realized I would be tired and grimy, so then I decided to try to find out if there was any place at the Seoul airport where I could take a shower. I was explaining this idea to a friend who frequently travels to India and she made a suggestion that changed my entire trip. She said, “Why don’t you look for a day-rate hotel?” Whichever hotel maven thought up this idea was a genius.

As the world tries to comprehend just how horrifying the situation is in Haiti, news of the fall-out from the 7.0 Earthquake has steadily been coming in throughout the early morning.

Considering what's just happened to the poor, sick, malnourished and misgoverned Haitian people, it may seem an irrelevant distraction to focus on the words of one arrogant Christian bigot. But it needs to be done. It's time for Pat Robertson to just go away.

Conjuring up bogus causality after the fact is his recurring shtick. Feminists and gays caused 9/11. Abortion caused Katrina. Evacuating Gaza caused Sharon's stroke. Health care reform probably caused swine flu. Teaching evolution no doubt led to Fort Hood and the underpants bomber. Enough.

Mark McGwire has come out and admitted the one thing everyone knew about him – that he took performance-enhancing drugs. Of course, as has been his wont since his retirement from baseball, McGwire did so in a cowardly and milquetoast manner.

“I was given a gift to hit home runs,” said McGwire, who is attempting to return to baseball as a hitting instructor for the St. Louis Cardinals. “I believe I was given this gift. The only reason I took steroids was for health purposes.”

With the announcement of her deal with Fox News, Sarah Palin is now one Glenn Beck stroke, aneurysm, or cardiac event from being the most* batshit crazy person on TV.

–WKW

* Media Version. Overall, Charlie Sheen is still the most batshit and likely to commit a violent felony at some point.

SALEM, Mass. — L.T. Johnson was busy tying a sofa to the roof of his Pinto hatchback, when he was forced to think long and hard about the most recent political controversy.

“Harry Reid said the word Negro when talking about Obama? And Apologized?” said Johnson, now unemployed for 24 consecutive months. “Yeah, I just don’t care, I need a place for my family to live, so I`m not all too interested in stuff like this.”

In the wake of resignations by Democratic Senators Chris Dodd and Byron Dorgan, Democrats may be taking some shortsighted solace in the prospect of a brewing conservative civil war between the Republican Party establishment and the revolting Teabaggers, no pun intended. The differences between the warring camps are not ideological - the G.O.P. long ago purged its dissenting moderates - but attitudinal.

Ok, maybe not quite that over the top, but the Intelligence Industry really dropped the ball on the Underpants Terrorist kid. And by “dropped the ball,” I mean “Put thousands in needless risk.” I do expect there to be attempted attacks that will get past authorities somehow, but this is sounding quite abysmal.

HEAVEN – The heavenly perfection of Downtown Heaven was disturbed once all Hell broke loose following the news that Fox News Real-Live Journalist Brit Hume advised golfer Tiger Woods to become a Christian to overcome his cheating ways. The ruckus was quelled, however, when Jesus Chist stepped forward to say that he did not care.

Genesis 6: 1-4 tells us that “there were giants in the Earth in those days.” Like all statements coming from the Word of God, this is factually true. There were, in fact, giants. And none were more giant than Jesus Christ.

BRAZIL – Blogger William K. Wolfrum today vowed to cease using emoticons on the Internet, in any way, ever again.

“If feel that they had become an intruder into my soul,“ said Wolfrum, who also vowed to act more “High-Fallutin’“ in 2009. “In real life, I wink maybe twice a year. This is out of hand.’’

Many critics have come forward to complain about Wolfrum`s decision, claiming he is often to self-important and vague in a lot of his satire.

Don't mean to step on anyone's franchise (no need to lawyer up, Deadman) but I simply have to share this armchair fan's elation at tonight's orgy of televised hockey fare: four games to choose from, spread over the next seven hours -- and much of it top-notch.

When I started my blog, it was because of my burning desire to affect change on a world troubled on a wide variety of fronts. Or it was because I had too much time on my hands and needed amusement. One of those.

But something strange happened – no one came. For about a few year, I`d celebrate on days where I had 15 hits, even if 14 of them were me, logging on to different computers around the city so I could click my own Google Ads.