As I said, God took a day off. It’s not clear what he did on his day off, but we hope something fun and relaxing. But before he called it quits, God made a pretty garden for the first man, Adam. The garden had some nice trees, including the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, which is a long name for a tree. Before heading out, God commanded Adam not to eat from the tree with the long name for “the day you eat from it, you will definitely die.”

I want to marry gays.  I really do.  If it were legal to do so in my state, I would become an ordained minister to join a gay couple in holy and legal matrimony.  I view it as a benchmark of American progress.  It would be a fine example of the reason prevailing against rhetoric, because reasonably LGBT folks should be able to marry and enjoy all the benefits that heterosexual couples do. 

Why should gay marriage be legal?  Because the arguments against it are so asinine they make neocon political ideals look logical, or even moral.

What do you do when herd immunity among children is being destroyed by parents who have been scared by unfounded claims that vaccinations cause autism, an idea being promoted in the media by celebrities like Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy, who has recently been annointed by the Poperah?  It sounds like a recipe for disaster, but than

Sometimes, I get confused when people use slang or terms of art. I’m more of a straightforward, un-fancy communicator. I’m ashamed to admit it might be something I have in common with our former president—although I tend not to make up my own words.

Something I am less ashamed to admit is that I don’t always follow some of the terms bandied about on the blogs. One of those terms is “strawman.” I’m from the Midwest. Out here, strawmen live in fields and they don’t generally talk, which makes it difficult for them to participate in arguments.

May 6, 2029

President George Prescott Bush signed into law a ground-breaking automobile subsidy that will pay the United States' last remaining automaker, General Chrysford, to build cars that will be shipped straight to the scrapyards. The Automotive Repurposing Act is designed to help the Big One survive a global glut of automobiles that has driven the price of cars below the break-even point. Lisa Lemmon, the CEO of General Chrysford, has lobbied hard for the bill and argued in a recent USA McNews editorial that the auto company could not survive without assistance:

Today is the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, brought to you by the Candies Foundation.  Yesterday, the Candies Foundation announced teen-mom/example-that-abstinence-only-doesn’t-work, Bristol Palin, would be it’s new ambassador.  This is the most ironic spokesperson since Stephen Hawking did a Nike cross-training commercial. I mean, come on!

In the press release announcing the ambassadorship, Palin said "If I can prevent even one girl from getting pregnant, I will feel a sense of accomplishment."

Late last year one of my predictions for 2009 was that Facebook would go public, sparking a mini-rally in the markets.

At first, there wasn’t much of anything. Well, there was God, and there was some water, so maybe that’s a lot. But there wasn’t anything else, that’s my point. Then God decided to make some other stuff probably because he was bored of the water. So first he made some light so that he could see what he was doing. He thought that was a pretty good accomplishment for the first day and congratulated himself on a job well done.

The second day, God made a hole in the water and called it the sky.

What a shock. A reporter (fearing for his own job, perhaps?) asked White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs if the potential imminent closure of the venerable Boston Globe calls for yet another government bailout, this time to save the flailing newspaper industry.

Last summer, a team of archaeologists excavating a Roman-era latrine outside Jerusalem made a remarkable discovery. Buried beneath centuries of silt and fecal matter, the archaeologists discovered an ancient manuscript. The manuscript appears to be an abridged version of the Old Testament with commentary by the infamous heretic, Joseph the Latriner of Lokshen.

Sorry for my extended absence the last couple of weeks, but the excuse is a good one: I'm engaged!!

I live in Indiana, in the 2nd Congressional district. It includes St. Joseph County, which routinely votes Democratic. It also includes a small town, where the grand poobah of the KKK lives. Or something like that. I can never quite get their leadership terminology down. 

In case you didn’t hear, Florida approved the production and sale of the Jesus Christ license plate.

May 1, 2029

Canadians suffered a fifteenth day without computer access as the the Canadian government negotiated with a malicious software virus for release of its nation's computers. The virus, known by its nom de guerre, Evil LOLcat, has demanded ¥10 billion, freedom for 25 quarantined viruses, and a "cheezburger."

Three nights ago, I started reading a novel that I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish. It caught my eye a while back, when I was browsing the local bookstore. That day, I put it down, but it stayed with me. So, a couple of months ago, I saw it again and bought it. But until last weekend, it remained in my car. I'm not sure what made me finally bring it into my house or what made me finally decide to read it.

The hallmark of a fad is that it is decidely short-lived.  Perhaps the most famous example is the pet rock.  It's not surprising that it was the brain child of an ad man.  After all, advertising can create demand.  Can it sustain demand?  Not, apparently, for pet rocks.