Yes, the platform says "no", but in every no there's a little bit of "yes", and who are we to tell Mitt what to choose when he's telling women what not to choose - if he chooses.

If you think this is confusing, it's because you're socialist scum and don't understand our exceptionalism, which includes Mitt's exceptionalism. But no exceptions for you, if you catch my drift. 

I'm glad Republicans are becoming comfortable with holding 2 or more countervailing contradictory positions - kinda like believing in Hayek, Ayn Rand, Paul Ryan and conservatism at the same time.

Of course it might be harder if they took the time to read the fine print and understand the concepts. But it's everyone's right to be pig ignorant, and fortunately they've designed a fine venue to display it in.

And once again, Sam Bee is magnificent - even with that peek-a-boo uterus thing. Good thing her subjects had no clew what she was talking about.