William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Anarchy, Death Nazis! Fox News gives up on 'Elitist' complete sentences

    NEW YORK – “Anarchist, terrorist, commie, death!” said Glenn Beck.

    “Obama 9/11 9/11 Muslim!! Nazi death Democrats!” shouted Sean Hannity.

    While the above appear to be little more than random scare words thrown together, for Rupert Murdoch and Fox News, they institute a new pre-election strategy.

    Starting this morning, Fox News personalities will use the final week prior to the mid-term elections to connect with their viewership on an entirely new level – by just using words that will get them fired up to vote.

    “Having studied the issue, we feel our viewers believe complete sentences and opinions are elitist nonsense,” said Murdoch. “So we decided to streamline the process.”

    On Fox & Friends this morning, Brian Kilmeade started the new plan with a flourish.

    “Kenyan anarchist death Obama Reid!” said Kilmeade.

    “Anarchy, death?” responded co-host Gretchen Carlson.

    "Nazi grandma-killers Feingold socialist murder enslavement!" responded liberal guest host Juan Williams.

    For Fox News viewers, the new strategy is a welcome change, as many have complained that the network has become lost in a sea of elitest complete sentences that have no part in real political discourse.

    “I big words bad hate,” said one Fox News viewer. “Liberty!”

    The pre-election strategy will culminate on Election day, with a 24-hour Glenn Beck marathon to be called “Democrats Black Muslim Murder Murder Murder Murder!!!!!!”

    Beck said he’s been working overtime to prepare for the big show.

    “Illegals Brown Death to non-white Anarchy Nazi fascism liberal kill,” said Beck, who asked his supporters to “Peaceful death anarchy kill!”

    –WKW

    Comments

    Hilarious. My girlfriend asked me what I was laughing about and then ridiculed me for making a "gah-gah-gah-gah" noises. Her imitation always reminds me of old Popeye cartoons.


    After two days that included an earthquake, a tsunami, flooding, and a volcanic eruption in Indonesia, it's nice to know that things haven't changed back in the States.

    Muslim Fascist Taxes Death Squads!


    Are you still in Indonesia, O?


    Yeah, but in Jakarta, where the biggest problem at the moment is the rainy season and accompanying floods. The earthquake was off of Sumatra and the volcano is on the other side of Java. And if I was at home in the Midwest today, I'd apparently be in the middle of the worst storm in 7 decades. Kind of makes me wonder if the whole world is upside down permanently.


    "Constitution!  Deficits!  Freedom!  God!  Cut-backs!", they yelled in chorus...

    Then came a voice All Assembled knew to be that of Jesus the Christ: 

    "Ooooooooooh," it moaned, "Where did I go wroooooooonnng?"


    Founding Fathers!  Raising Taxes!  Fascist Socialists!  Private sector!  Pelosi!  Reid!   

    Darn it!  Too much education has prevented me from just using single words.  Must keep it simple.  Must lose the Self.  Dang it....Going buddhist...This is NOT Christian...must fight the urge to analyze and think... UBETCHA!!!

    Okay...all better now. 


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