Before I start this blog post, let me make one thing absolutely clear - I do not, under any circumstance, advocate armed insurrection against the United States. That, my friends, is totally not my scene.

But I am a man of contradictions. Like Erick Erickson of CNN. The honored founder of the patriotic Red State blog, CNN's Erickson agrees with me about unveiling the full force of blog readers against the government. But Erickson makes exceptions, especially when it comes to laws of the land he doesn't support. I will let Mr. Erickson take it from here:

Here at RedState, we too have drawn a line. We will not endorse any candidate who will not reject the judicial usurpation of Roe v. Wade and affirm that the unborn are no less entitled to a right to live simply because of their size or their physical location. Those who wish to write on the front page of RedState must make the same pledge. The reason for this is simple: once before, our nation was forced to repudiate the Supreme Court with mass bloodshed. We remain steadfast in our belief that this will not be necessary again, but only if those committed to justice do not waiver or compromise, and send a clear and unmistakable signal to their elected officials of what must be necessary to earn our support.

Erickson - a devout pretend Christian - is so adamantly against the rule of law in the United States, that he is ready to lead his band of reasonable, well-adjusted and well-armed followers to certain death while causing the deaths of others if he can not personally overturn Roe v. Wade and be known throughout history as the man who overturned Roe v. Wade.

It makes me proud that CNN's Erickson has the strength of will to encourage anonymous blog users to commit acts of mass bloodshed in order to bolster his stature as "the Voice of CNN." This is a man of standards. A man of beliefs. A man CNN pays to be on TV to give opinions.

Thinking about this, I realized that I would send my anonymous readers to their death in a flailing, unorganized orgy of chaos against the United States government, as well. But only for things that I mostly stand for, or at very least for things that will enhance my reputation amongst people who will enrich me in the future, like say Fox News, or Comcast MSNBC.

Thus, I have taken stands against these things, which, for the purpose of this blog post, really mean a lot to me:

Reinstitute the Baker's Dozen: 12 doughnuts is just not enough. We all deserve 13 or it's Mass Bloodshed.

Reinstitute the Three-Fifths Compromise: Hey, I'm not trying to be insensitive here. But the FOUNDING FATHERS put this in the U.S. Constitution. And they were always right about everything. So reinstate Article 1, Section 2, Paragraph 3 of the United States Constitution or Mass Bloodshed.

Make Screaming "Fire!" in a crowded theater Legal: The right to terrify people into creating a stampede leading to injury and death is guaranteed in the U.S. Constituition. Mass Bloodshed awaits should this not be overturned.

Take Caffeine-Free Diet Pepsi off the market: Seriously, the stuff is crap. Recall it now, or Mass Bloodshed.

Make Donna Hansen, who I went to High School with, admit she was wrong in rejecting me and have her go out to dinner and a movie with me: Where's Mr. Football Star Chad now!??! And I mean it, she better act like she likes me and not call me names again, or Mass Bloodshed.

That's just a small part of my list. I also want OxyContin legalized (or Mass Bloodshed), and Snickers to make their friggin' candy bars bigger (or Mass Bloodshed) and a whole host of other things (or Mass Bloodshed).

My friends, people I respect and could pay me money believe in these things, so I do, too. And I demand - DEMAND - you gather your arms and fight this tyrannical government! Remember, I would never - NEVER - call for Mass Bloodshed. Except for the above cases. And anything else I'm told to be outraged about. Then, oh baby, Mass Bloodshed.

It comes down to this - an official representive of CNN is calling for Mass Bloodshed for something that may or may not even actually matter to him. Thus, CNN is calling for Mass Bloodshed. And when CNN calls for Mass bloodshed, you listen.

And hopefully you'll listen to me as well. Thanks, and remember our PayPal donation button is at the upper right of this page. Donate what you can. Or, you know,  Mass Bloodshed.

--WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles