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    Scientists discover human body will stop a bullet in a "legitimate" shooting

    By William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 3:11pm | Politics, Humor & Satire

    TEXAS – Scientists at the University of Texas-El Paso have discovered that the human body will deflect bullets in a “legitimate” shooting.

    “We have seen that, when the human body is stressed out and about to be legitimately shot, the bullet will not harm them,” said Dr. Phil Gingrey. “The obvious conclusion is that people who do have a bullet enter their body actually want to be shot.”

    While many experts have expressed skepticism at the findings, noted human body expert Todd Akin said the conclusions were obvious.

    “Guns aren’t the problem, Bullet Whores are the problem!” said Akin. “These aren’t victims, these are people who want to be penetrated by lead moving at hyper speeds.”

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

      Although Akin is a fool for saying rape can't result in conception, he may have been misunderstood. From the context, it seems to me that by "legitimate rape" he meant an actual rape as opposed to a false accusation. So while "legitimate" was a bad choice of words, I don't think he was saying that rape is justified.


    by Aaron Carine on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 5:25pm

    What Akin said was anti-abortion pseudoscience rhetoric designed to give coverage to those who want to end abortion for all, including rape victims impregnated by their rapists.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 6:12pm

      Yes, I said his "no conceptions through rape" comment was idiotic, but I think his "legitimate rape" comment was misread--although he would have been wiser to say "real" rather than "legitimate". If you believe that a fetus is a human being, then you can't really make exceptions for rape--if it's human, it can't be killed.


    by Aaron Carine on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 6:59pm

    Yes Aaron, you can look a bit deeper and say his comment about legitimate rape was misread. But if you look even deeper the reason he said it is because he thinks most if not all women getting abortions who claimed they were raped are lying because if they were really raped the body would have shut down.

    He doesn't see an epidemic of rape in this country but an epidemic of lying sluts getting frivolous abortions.


    by ocean-kat on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 8:39pm

      Well, we could infer that, but I don't know if  he was thinking that--I don't think he thought his statement through.


    by Aaron Carine on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 9:11pm

     Akins has thought it through quite well, he just articulated it poorly. My post and his comment is exactly the line that runs through the extreme antiabortion community. With the exception of "lying sluts," that's my characterization of their views. They would simply say liars or "making false claims."

    Denying abortions to rape victims is uncomfortable even for those committed to the antiabortion cause. This is how they justify it. .If you read the far right christian press its not new and its not unusual. The wider public just got a look at it in Akins for the first time.


    by ocean-kat on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 9:57pm

      I don't know; maybe there are still people who think rape doesn't happen, but I'll wait until Akin says that before attributing that view to him.

     

     It doesn't make sense to oppose abortion except in cases of rape or incest, because whether the fetus is human or not has nothing to do with how it was conceived.


    by Aaron Carine on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 9:40am

    I'm not sure why Akin need be brought into this; he's dumber than a fence post. extreme reich wingers that think they can win elections by crushing women's rights were crushed in the election. Women are not going back to back alley abortions which may end up getting them killed.

    Regarding our weak gun laws, the issue is whether Congress has the balls to face down a wealthy special interest group. I doubt it.


    by demunchained on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 8:07am

     whether Congress has the balls to face down a wealthy special interest group

    Teaching our kids violence, has it's fruitage. 

    Do not be misled, whatever you sow, you reap

    I don't blame lawful gun owners, I blame the educators of violence.

    Blame Hollywood,  a very wealthy special interest group.


    by Resistance on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 10:44am

    From the context, it seems to me that by "legitimate rape" he meant an actual rape as opposed to a false accusation.

    That assertion makes absolutely no sense. Akin claimed that one cannot get pregnant from a "legitimate" rape, implying that if you got pregnant, you wanted it. In writing that, I suppose by "false accusation" you mean that there was real intercourse, but that it was consensual. (When I first read it, I thought you meant simply that no act had taken place, which would definitely not lead to pregnancy.)

    Regardless, assuming that you're parsing it the same way that I did, it's not just a bad choice of words, it's incredibly unsound science as well as demeaning to women!


    by Verified Atheist on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 11:03am

      Well, in my humble opinion, he was using legitimate in the sense of "real" or "authentic". The context was his assertion that rape can't result in pregnancy, so it would make sense for him to emphasize the distinction between consensual sex and rape. If sex is forced then it is an actual rape i.e. a "legitimate rape". I don't think he was saying that rape is "legitimate" in the sense of being moral or justified.

    It is extremely unsound science, as I said myself.


    by Aaron Carine (not verified) on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 6:37pm

    Ghost shirts sacred by certain factions of the Lakota Sioux that were supposed to guard against bullets through spiritual power

    The shirts did not work as promised, and consequently 153 Lakota Sioux died, with 50 wounded and 150 missing at the Wounded Knee Massacre.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_shirt

    Maybe the Lakota  were on to something

    Get the clothing manufacturers to make the perfect shirt that could repel bullets.

    Eventually the crazies would realize, bigger clips wont work. We would thwart their schemes.   

    The people could incorporate bullet proofing clothing, into their daily wear.

    A tank top, would take on a new meaning

    Give it an SPF B rating (Superior Protection From Bullets)

    PS: Who makes the best protection vest for our sons and daughters in Afghanistan?  

    If bullets are with us, then prepare for them.

    IMHO, If we did these things, the Democrats won't continue to lose at the mid terms.

    This divisive issue of Gun control, would be put aside, so we could focus on getting the Nation to go to the left.

    Instead of the old Right wing talking points. "Elect a Democrat and they'll come for your guns, so never give them a majority"

    "Give a democrat and inch and they think they're a ruler"  


    by Resistance on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 6:20pm

    Hey, Wolfie!  You have some competition in the hilariously absurd posting field!  That Resistance!  Who knew he was such a joker?!?!


    by CVille Dem on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 7:24pm

    ?!?!

    This plan could get a Federal Grant to enhance the US Coast Guards program, for everyone to use a LIFE PRESERVER.

    "WEAR IT"

    From your youth on into adult hood. Make it a habit to use your life preserver;

    "Honoring the men and woman who serve us, this is the 2013 Coast Guard fashion" 

    If you think the sight of gun shot victims is heartbreaking, recover a drowned child?  


    by Resistance on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 7:53pm

    Resistance, if you swallowed a nail you would sh*t a corkscrew!!!  Thank god you are one of a kind. But I have to admit, you are getting funnier and funnier!


    by CVille Dem on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 8:29pm

    ?!?! back atcha! bigger clips wont work. No kidding--and guns!!!! This comment is especially absurd coming from your POV-- what good would guns be to you or anyone if they were no longer able to be a threat to anyone? Why have guns if everyone can easily protect themselves against them ?!?! surprise


    by artappraiser on Fri, 01/11/2013 - 10:03pm

    I see your point. but that only proves we'd need higher power guns, so when that burglar or home invader, comes through the door or window, wearing a bullet proof vest, we'd have the power to stop them.surprise

    The mass shooters, the home invaders, the muggers, the rapists and all who would wish to do us harm, are betting many don't have a way to protect themselves.

    Not that you can't protect yourself, if you chose to. *

    Like a life preserver on a boat; what good of protection is it, if you don't have one available, or if you had one on the boat as required, but you don't put it on you or the kids? 

    We could even expand this public service message to promiscuous types, in our attempts to stop the spread of HIV or STD's .

    * WEAR PROTECTION .

    (Applying the rule of self preservation, protect the Second Amendment from infringement, It is for our protection )smiley


    by Resistance on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 2:08am

    Then they'd just shoot you in the head.  Or in the foot.


    by Ramona on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 11:09am

    Ramona, Ramona...don't you know about the latest thing?   Bulletproof make-up!  And of course, Collista Gingrich already has bullet-proof hair.  Let's see...we'd also have to have bullet-proof eye glasses and contact lenses. Oh, my...what a wonderful world Resistance has conjured up. Just brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. 


    by CVille Dem on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 8:35pm

    we'd also have to have bullet-proof eye glasses

    OM ...  CVille, you might be onto something here;  maybe we could call them safety glasses?

    Thanks for another example for the National Campaign. .

    WEAR PROTECTION. 


    by Resistance on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 8:58pm

    Many people shoot themselves in the foot. Their mouths usually work fine though.


    by Orlando on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 10:39am

    Wolfie, some of the comments on this particular blog are the weirdest ever. 


    by tmccarthy0 on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 10:19am

    I take what I get around these parts ;)


    by William K. Wolfrum on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 8:13am

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