The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
tmccarthy0's picture

Mitt Romney to America- I HAVE NOT EVOLVED

Text of Mitt Romney's Speech:

I know you've come to believe I am a major flip flopper.

I know you think I like firing people. Well to be fair, I don't really mind firing people.

But today you all will learn that I do not flip flop on everything. I have consistently been against equality for gay people, you might say I have the same views I’ve had since running for office! I am here to declare in front of this fine tea audience that I have not evolved!

Comments

Mitt just very much wants to be President of the United States of America.

Once he has achieved that status he can go after every goddamn enemy he has ever had to face.

And cut the bastard's hair off!

the end


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