AMERICA - Golfer Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade into a White House Party yesterday, stopping long enough to get his picture taken with President Barack Obama before getting cracked in the mouth with a three-wood by his wife Elin.
Later in the evening, violence again broke out as Sarah Palin and Levi Johnston had a fistfight over who was dreamier in “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” - Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson. Following the fight, Oprah Winfrey quit her show and several others escaped in a poorly-made weather balloon.
Next Week: Health Care, Afghanistan and other issues will be covered, unless Madonna or Britney Spears do or say something stupid.
--WKW