[aka "what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas"] - moving from Creative Corner ghetto.....

Donald meets Hillary in a quiet rendezvous. "Ok, you got 5 minutes to close the deal", says Hill. "What gives?" 

"Let's stop pretending otherwise and wasting time when there's so much at stake," replies Le Donald, "you know we belong together". "Fat chance, broomhead - and don't go quoting me on that, basta with your Trump tweets or I'll put my Texts4Hillary boys on you.' "Those pantywaists? Why do you spend all this time with gays and metrosexuals?" "Cause they're my base, Don - unlike you I can't just count on the lunatic fringe to sustain me."

"Well, Hillary - you've pissed off the 'vast right-wing conspiracy' so bad, you've driven them right into my arms. But how 'bout we make up, and we can have them all? You've seen me do it - I've got neocons and religious nuts supporting stuff they've been railing against for years - just because I say whatever I feel like".

"Sure, just like a Reese's butter cup, peanut butter and chocolate? Sorry, Donald, this is more like a lost episode of Gone Girl. Who *is* advising your campaign?" "Me of course. I've always been a natural promoter - who could I delegate that to?"

"Well, may be that it's worth a long shot - the risk is more than worth the payoff, and I know good and well you don't believe all that froo froo you say in your speeches, unlike those 2 evangelistic anchor babies". "Hey, for a second it sounded like you might even learn to curse - you should try it, I find every time I get up and bellow it cleanses my soul - presuming I have one". "Yeah, they've been asking where my soul is as long as you've been doing real estate. Curse? I don't much have it in me, and then they'd have a field day about how unladylike I am".

"So that settles it - we're a match made in heaven, a soulless couple for a fickle soulless nation. Hey, maybe I'll use that in a speech." "I thought you already did, Don - isn't that your core platform?" "No, Hillary - I'm just about beating down the weak - see, everyone likes to see someone strong. The only reason Bernie's popular is because he's making you twist in circles. And that's just cause Democrats like to analyze their navels so much. With me, I get to play gladiator and they swarm to me like flies. How do you think Arnie managed in California? Immigration policy?" "Sigh, it does get annoying, 5 decades in politics working up strategy and all this hob-nobbing and networking, and here comes a guy with a 2-point plan written on an envelope like he was Lincoln at Gettysburg". "But that's your fault - you should have schlonged him at the beginning - he's just a grumpy old man complaining that his liver's undercooked. Didn't you learn anything from New York?" "well, not really - most of my time was still in DC - and what I did get wasn't in the Bowery or the garment district, obviously. Face it, Donald - you're more New Jersey than New York - you're like that Rupert Pupkin character in King of Comedy practicing in your ma's basement - is that how you got so good at TV?"

"Pretty much - selling land development and politics ain't all that different - you build up a lot of dreams, blow in some smoke, point to the future, and above all act crazier and more bullheaded than anyone else in the room. Take up all the oxygen." "Perfect for greenhouse gases." "Don't get topical on me, Hill - I could give a rat's ass about global warming or Mexicans flocking to Vegas - I'm just in it for the money." "and the self-promotion, no?" "Not even - I'm actually kind of a shy guy - but nobody invests in shy guys, so I just blow it out instead." "Easy for you - if I try that, it's like Evil Dead part 2". "That's good, that's good - fear's better than attraction any day. Most people are afraid. They don't do anything unless they're scared shitless, and then you can't stop them". "Highly exaggerated - I take it you don't like my inspirational speeches?" "You lost me with 'let me begin'".

"Alright, Mr. Trump - speaking of boring to tears, what is your proposal?"  "Like the great sport of Vegas, tag-team wrestling. Hill and Trump, the avengers". "You mean like Ms. Establishment and Mr. Outsider? That's a good way to hedge your bets - and you think it'll fly?" "Sure, it's like having The Odd Couple as a Reality Show - in the West Wing. How can it fail? 8 seasons and then we're outta here." "Well, the obvious question is, who's on top?" "You, of course - I can't actually get away with calling the Saudi Prince a petulant greaseball or Putin an insecure money-grubbing ferret as President. But Vice President? I can do anything. It's like being Billy Carter but with a Secret Service detail - I can do or say anything and someone will make excuses." "Right, Don - and I get to clean up all the mess?" "Yep - sounds like women's work to me, and you always said you liked that stuff." 

"I hate to admit you're right - men are just boys a little older. But what do we do when we consider the severity and the decades long repercussions?" "Repercussions? That's what we're after - drive an 18-wheeler through these boring old parties like it's Monster Crash Up night at the arena. How's Congress going to grandstand anything when I'm more popular than Christ, literally as those Jesus-spouting loser Cuban bastards have just shown - Batista knew the casino business, not them. And all that pivot-to-the-left nonsense you have to deal with every 4 years? Those kids'll have more fun in 3 days of hip-hop and gambling in Vegas than 100 Bernie campaigns." "So you think of this all as entertainment?" "Of course, Hillary - the Republicans already proved that anything useful had to be done outside government. So now all that's left is showbiz - and money." 

"I don't really see a downside for me, aside from dealing with 2 over-testosteroned loose cannons. And after all, we have to keep the White House.". "That's my gal, Hill - knew you'd come around. You're HIRED!!!"