As Iran is in the midst of severe domestic turmoil and an uprising of its populace, Senate Republicans are prepared to do whatever it takes to save the brave American populace from the clutches of evil dictator President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and his boss, the Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Because for them, the situation in Iran has aways been about democracy.

A new bill brought forward by Republican Senator John McCain and Neo-Conservative Senator Joe Lieberman looks to target Iranians involved in rights abuses with sanctions like asset freezes or a ban on U.S travel. The bill also calls for President Barack Obama to create a public list of rights abusers and/or their enablers, according to McCain’s office.

“Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran,” said McCain, in a show of support to the democracy-hungry Iranian citizens. Lieberman was equally enthusiastic.

“The Iranian government, by its actions, has all but declared war on us and our allies in the Middle East,” said Lieberman.

A different bill from Republican Senators John Cornyn and Sam Brownback would offer non-military aid to Iranian democratic opposition groups and humanitarian aid to “victims of the current regime,” their offices said.

“The F-22 program is important to our national security because we’re not just fighting wars in Afghanistan and Iraq,” said Cornyn. “We have graver threats and greater threats than that: From a rising India, with increased exercise of their military power; Russia; Iran, that’s threatening to build a nuclear weapon; with North Korea, shooting intercontinental ballistic missiles, capable of hitting American soil.”

Brownback agreed.

“In the global war on the cancer of terrorism, our next strategic, surgical focus needs to be Iran,” Brownback said.

It remains to be seen if either of these bills will gain traction in Washington. Just know that Republicans care about the Iranian people. They care enough to help. Or to kill them. Whatever it takes.

–WKW