Do you have Torts? Do you wake up each morning to see a Tort-infested life that is destroying everything you hold dear?

If that’s the case, then William K. Wolfrum’s Tort Reformation* is here for you.

As we are all well aware, Torts have destroyed this great nation. Where once freedom and liberty reigned, now there are only Torts. They need reformed, and now. At William K. Wolfrum’s Tort Reformation, our team of trained Tort Reformation experts will clear your house of all annoying Torts, from the biggest to most minuscule.

Using our patented Tort-Reformation Procedure©, we’ll take you from being Tort-haunted to being Tort-Free in just a matter of minutes. Or your money back.

For years, people have ignored the savage intensity and destructive nature of Torts. But now, thanks to the GOP, we all know that Torts are the root of all evil in this great nation.

Did you know:

• That 45,000 Americans die each year because of Torts?
• That Anthem Blue Cross was forced to raise its insurance premiums 39 percent due to Torts?
• That every Pre-Existing Condition is somehow Tort related?
• That 60 percent of all U.S. bankruptcies are due to Torts?
• That the U.S. ranks 39th in the world in life expectancy due to Torts?
• That the U.S. spends far more per person for total health care costs than any other nation due to Torts?

We at William K. Wolfrum’s Tort Reformation realize that Torts have caused everything from the financial crisis to shingles. Left unchecked, Torts will destroy everything we believe in. This is why Torts are truly the only thing that need to be obliterated for all Americans to live lives of Freemen and Freewomen.

So call William K. Wolfrum’s Tort Reformation. We’ll De-Tort you, and help make this country what it is meant to be – a Nation for the people, not Torts.

–WKW

* A fully owned subsidiary of Anthem Blue Cross.