The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
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    Breaking: A drunken Barack Obama chokes living daylights out of Jim Bunning

    By William K. Wolfrum on Mon, 03/01/2010 - 4:40pm | Politics, Humor & Satire, Media

    WASHINGTON – Inside sources confirm that U.S. President Barack Obama – completely hammered on Coors Light and Alabama Slammers – choked the living daylights out of Republican Senator Jim Bunning, today.

    “You no-good political opportunish,” slurred Obama, as Bunning’s face turned crimson. “Putting people out of work, screwing over seniors and taking away unemployment benefits for no reason!”

    Afterward, Obama reportedly stumbled into Tom Tancredo’s office and kicked him square in the nads.

    “Who’s illiterate now!,” Obama reportedly said.

    “Gaah,” Reportedly responded Tancredo.

    Most Washington insiders were shocked at the President’s behavior. Still, Matt Drudge of the Drudge Report said he knew it all along.

    “I linked to a story where it said in the very last line that Obama needed to drink moderately,” said Drudge. “Sure, maybe that had something to do with his cholesterol being too high, but better we be on the safe side and accuse him of being an alcoholic.”

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire
    Media

    Comments

    I wish I could be like you, Wolfie, and dismiss Matt Drudge's serial distortions with derisive laughter. But I can't; Drudge's contempt for truth is the antithesis of journalism and a real threat to American democracy.

    I followed your link to the Guardian story, but that's not the one Drudge himself links to. That is from the Mail Online website. The Mail's headline reads:

    Barack Obama should drink less alcohol and try harder to kick his smoking habit, doctors say

    The hed is not simply an exaggeration; it is a lie. Buried further down in the story is the White House doctor's actual recommendation that Obama:

    ● Continue smoking cessation efforts, a daily exercise programme, a healthy diet, moderation in alcohol intake, periodic dental care and remain up to date with recommended immunisations

    Those are things the physician says he should CONTINUE to do. Not "drink less." Not even "try harder" to quit smoking. Just keep doing what he's doing.

    I'm making a big, nitpicking deal about this deliberate lie because it precisely echos the pattern I outlined just two days ago in The Decline, Fall, Plunge and Demise of Journalism -- right down to the Mail Online as the sock-puppet purveyor of the original reportorial bullshit. Now that the Washington Times is losing its anti-Obama edge, it appears Drudge will be channeling the Mail Online a lot more. There's only so much crap Breitbart can churn out (see WKW's previous post).

    Here's all you need to remember: Breitbart is all deliberate lies, Mail Online is all deliberate lies, Drudge is all deliberate lies. Go ahead and read them; just do it for the right reason -- to know a day in advance what bilge the right wing is going to be regurgitating.

    And Wolfie, I apologize for going all serious on your clever piece of whimsical humor.


    by acanuck on Mon, 03/01/2010 - 8:54pm

    By the way, in light of Canada's hockey triumph, Obama owes our prime minister a case of Molson's Canadian. It would have been Coors Light if the game had gone the other way.

    Since we're in a journalistic free-fire zone, did you know that Harper, Drudge and Breitbart  get together regulary to drink beer to excess? True story.


    by acanuck on Mon, 03/01/2010 - 9:01pm