A VENGEFUL AND ANGRY GOD!

I am going to agree with fundamentalist Evangelical Christians - for the first and hopefully last time in my life.  I have been reading many posts from Christian leaders, as well as excerpts from their books and articles they have written in magazines.  I have also visited the websites and read through the literature of some of the largest megachurches (Lakewood Church in Houston - Joel Osteen & Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA,) in the Nation.  I've read some more liberal interpretations of the bible in the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations website information.  I've read through the articles and  blogs on websites such as the 700 Club (our good friend Pat Robertson) and Promise Keepers.  I've even forced myself to read the hate filled "end times" garbage  on the rapture ready site (I'm banned from posting there after posting my "Christians and Torture" article.  Apparently they don't want any conflicting opinions.)

What I've discovered is basically what you might expect.  There are a plethora of different interpretations on every single passage of the bible.  Each denomination seems to have a different way of interpreting the bible.  The Unitarians seem to find a way to twist the bible verses to allow the celebration fo roe v wade - as well as the acceptance of homosexuals and the belief that they should be allowed to marry.  The folks at the megachurches are generally about 2/3 on the scale when it comes to interpreting the bible.  They don't take a literal interpretation - but will bend the words to make it OK to drive three SUV's, have a giant house in the suburbs where they just don't have to deal with "urban" people or problems.  They have small group at the local "Dinner's Ready" franchise and make the weeks meals - and talk about how their husbands all seem to have a problem, no an addiction to pornography.   One woman starts sobbing uncontrollably becasuse she caught her husband looking at Maxim at the dentists office.  He had it tucked inside the cover of a Spirituality Today magazine.  She said it made her feel that he wanted the women in that magazine more than he wanted her.  (TIP FROM ME - HE DOES.  WHEN YOU COME HOME WEARING "MOM" JEANS AND A SWEATSHIRT - OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO GET A BONE FOR ALYSSA MILANO - DUH!)

And of course the fundamentalist Christian Churches take a literal view of the bible.  They view it as the inerrant word of God.  There is no interpretation to fit their lives (well - no interpretation that can't be explained by the pastor anyway.  It's simple - here is a brief rundown of some of their biblical truths .

• God created the Earth and the sky and the Universe about 6000 years ago.

• They were created in six literal days - not time periods - days. Nuff Said

• God flooded the earth and put a 600 year old (literal years, not time periods) man in charge of gathering two of every kind of animal (yes - EVERY ANIMAL ON EARTH - INCLUDING THE DINOSAURS)

• Gays are an abomination.  As are ugly lesbians.  They are up in the air on the pretty "lipstick" variety -  and need to conduct more internet "research".  They should not be allowed to marry, adopt children, or get insurance benefits amongts sodomites sharing a domicile.

• Abortion is an abomination and should be labeled a genocide.  Anyone supporting the murder of babies should be put in jail.

• All that stuff about shellfish being an abomination, and not working on the sabbath - that's only for the jews to follow.  Even though the homosexuality issue was in the same passage - we've chosen that to be the inerrant word of God.  The bible contains no errors or contradictions.

Of course the Bible contains both errors and contradictions.   Unfortunately - it's clear that each religious group simply bends the bible to fit the way of life they have chosen to live.  What's wrong with that - you ask?   Well - I think that their hypocrisy should be made clear for the World to see.  How dare they try to keep gay people from marrying?  How dare they tr to judge me with a doctrine that's clearly just bent to fit whatever way of life they have chosen to live.  They ignore certain parts of the bible because they have "interpreted them not to apply to their lives".  But they will try to push their way of life onto a woman's right to choose.  As my friend kalakitty17 pointed out - many of the women fighting so vehimently against abortion had them themselves as younger women.   Many of them found the "Lord" through their struggle to deal with that deeply personal issue.  But they want to take that right away from other women - and possibly keep them from finding the "Lord" - or from having another religious experience?

So either the bible is the inerrant word of God, and you are committing heracy or blasphemy by your selfish interpretation, or it's just a book that you can use as a guide to live your life.  If you choose the latter - just make sure you don't expect others to make the same choice.  There are many things that a civilized society would find abhorrant about a literal interpretation of the Bible.  I personally find it comical - and can see it bears no more truth than the Greek Gods of Mount Olympus.  Once man believed in these dieties as well.  And if it's a literal interpretation we must accept - I'll take Zeus over Jesus any day.  At least he knew how to party.  Any God who likes to disguise himself as a bull and mate with hot females - well - actually that's kind of sick.  Can I change my pick?