ACT I
Professor emeritus of anthropology Indiana Jones is hired by an international consortium that promises a rich endowment for his old college if he will fly to Little Rock, Arkansas, to interpret symbols inscribed on an ancient document recently discovered in the Clinton Library's archives.

Upon his arrival, he is greeted by Howard Wolfson, a man with an ominous curl of a grin, who escorts him to a secret laboratory complex deep beneath the Clinton Library. There he examines the ancient document, partially burnt, and identifies its language as ancient Gaelic. Jones makes out these words: "Make way for the woman of the mounds, whose voice will sound in the night and steal your soul by the power of Ka." The last part is missing, burnt away.

"The power of Ka," Jones muses thoughtfully.

"But what does it mean, Dr. Jones?" asks Wolfson.

"This is Gaelic," says Indiana. "Whoever wrote this was fluent in the ancient tongues of Ireland and Scotland. And look here. This says 'the woman of the mounds, whose voice will sound in the night and steal your soul.' Get it? Woman of the mounds is the literal meaning of banshee."

"Banshee?"

"Yes, banshee. A female spirit whose wailing voice was said to be an omen of death. At least the Irish thought so. But this part about Ka ..."

"Well, isn't Ka some kind of Egyptian god?"

"No, you're thinking of Ra, the sun god. But even I've never heard of Ka."

"Maybe part of the R is missing at the top."

"No, Mr. Wolfson, this is Gaelic. The runes for the R and the K sounds are nothing like each other." Indy pauses. "Where do you get this?"

Wolfson stammers and smiles a sleazy smile. "You'll have to ask the Clintons about that. Mrs. Clinton is campaigning in Indiana right now, just a few hundred miles from here."

"Get me a plane. And get this paper analyzed. There's something familiar about it."

ACT II
"Wonderful to meet you, Dr. Jones," Hillary beams, extending her hand. "Leave us!" she tells her aides.

"An honor, Senator Clinton."

"Call me Hillary," she cackles. "And have some tea. Now, you had some questions about the document?"

"Yes, the document. I was wondering how it came to be in the Clinton Library."

"Well, I don't know exactly. It may have been in with the papers that suddenly reappeared in our White House that day."

Jones nearly does a spit-take."Filegate! You're saying it was part of Filegate?"

"Dr. Jones, my husband and I don't use "gate" about any of our activities. But check with Bill to see if he can tell you the origin of that document."

"Thank you, Senator," Jones says, rising from his chair only to knock over his cup of tea.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he says, trying to mop up the tea. As he rights th overturned cup, he sees the initials "HRC" in gold leaf along one side. "What a klutz I ... " He stops in mid-sentence.

"Quite alright, doctor. Accidents happen."

"Thanks again, Mrs. Rodham-Clinton," he says turning to leave.

"Like I said, just call me Hillary," she cackles. As she claps to summon her aides, she stares coldly after Indiana.

ACT III
"What's this got to do with me? asks Barack Obama.

"Maybe nothing, sir," stammers Jones. "Maybe everything. I'm not sure yet."

"You're speaking in riddles."

"Riddles are just words, Barack," cackles a voice from the doorway.

"Hillary! What are you doing here?"

"I followed Dr. Jones. It seems you've learned too much, doctor."

Obama is confused. "What is this about?"

"It's about stealing the nomination, Sen. Obama. But I'm sure Hillary Rodham-Clinton can tell you herself."

"But you're doing so well, doctor."

"You know this sounds like the same old political cliches," says Obama. "But keep going."

Jones picks up the story. "Hillary's campaign had me examine a secret document at the Clinton Library. It's written in Gaelic, the language used in ancient times in some parts of Ireland and Scotland. It warns: 'Make way for the woman of the mounds, whose voice will sound in the night and steal your soul by the power of Ka.'"

Clinton listens in amusement. "Hmm," says Obama. "That's pretty cool."

"Yessir, it would be if I'd seen it sooner. I thought the woman of the mounds referred to a banshee."

Hillary cackles, but Jones continues.

"What I didn't see was that 'woman of the mounds' also could mean First Lady. Hillary has been on both hills of power in Washington, the White House and Capitol Hill."

"Excellent, doctor. I am indeed the banshee whose voice will sound in the night and steal your soul. My voice will sound at 3 a.m. and every hour!"

"And your campaign," Obama says shaking his head, "is going to steal the soul of this party."

"Yes!" she answers with icy glee.

"One thing I don't get," Indiana says. "The prophecy says you'll do all this by the power of Ka. Who is Ka? The rest of the inscription is missing."

"Oh, I can tell you that," comes a voice with a granular Southern accent as Bill Clinton emerges from the shadows. "Ka is Karl Rove."

Indiana is fuming. "And the document."

"Yep. It's a page from Karl Rove's playbook. We got lots of them."

"You won't get away with this," Indiana says, leveling a hard gaze at the Clintons.

"Trust the American people, Indy. She won't." And Obama exits the room.

THE END