The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age

    I STAYED

     

    cross posted from Dennie's Blog

     

    I Stayed

    By Linda Mutch  3/2/2011 [email protected]

     

    Not knowing what love is, I accepted the proposal.

    Not feeling desire, I accepted, I married.

    The picture was safe, not demanding, not loud. Predictable, quiet-all foreign.

    The college ended,  job came, children arrived. Homes cleaned, dinners cooked, friends socialized.

    I stayed.

    Career became more, distractions grew. They needed to.

    More of nothing.

    I stayed.

    Second home, mountains, place to go, but not get away.

    Another place to clean, entertain, cook.

    I stayed.

    Retired, kids in/out of college, sold homes, built a new one.

    Five acres, Colorado. Emptiness came along for the ride.

    New jobs, kids grown, moved in.

    I stayed.

    Taught at college, didn’t learn. Did groups,  readings, no help.

    Trip to Norway, lover had. Body woke up, mind didn’t.

    Still, I stayed.

    Traveled to Alaska, cruise, Friend (teacher) died.

    Got sick, acid reflux, clostridium, emptied fluids.

    On sofa for months, in hell.

    I stayed.

    Then I left. Finally. Age 64. Years married 41.

    I didn’t stay.

     

     

    Comments

    JESUS H. CHRIST!

    How the hell did you get ahold of my bio?


    The greatest heartaches of the world are caused by the conflict between what we think "should be" and what actually "is".