John Varvatos is not just a designer. He is a rock-and-roll designer. His ads have featured Franz Ferdinand and ZZ Top. Robert Plant wore three of his suits to the Grammy's. He has released a perfume called "John Varvatos Rock Volume One Eau de Toilette." It can be found at rock-and-roll establishments like Bloomingdales:

A surprising and edgy interpretation of the John Varvatos classic fragrance, this limited edition has an intricate blend of rose absolute and coffee beans that brings a new level of sensuality. The scent is warm and rich and is presented in a heavy metal bottle with an edgy, rock 'n' roll feel.

Incidentally, there is an unsubtle message stamped on the flask-shaped bottle: JV, a crown, a guitar, EST '00. (Hint: What would John Varvatos like to be the king of?)

"To understand the John Varvatos brand, you have to understand John's passion for rock 'n' roll," said Nicholas Munafo, president of Beauté Prestige International, "This passion comes through in just about everything he touches."

Got it.

Not content to bring rock to the fashion world and fashion to the rock world, Varvatos wants to bring rock to the rock world. That's why he held a contest, Free the Noise, in hopes of discovering the next Rolling Stones. Hundreds of unsigned bands from around the world sent videos. Four were selected to perform in a battle of the bands at Varvatos' flagship New York retail store in the former quarters of the fabled CBGB's music club, which lost its lease three years ago because it could not afford the designer-sized rent.

There were celebrities at the event: Chace Crawford and Dennis Quaid. There were free drinks: Heineken and "Varva-ritas!" There was an unshaven tattooed MC: "You guys are a good looking crowd...Let's hear it for Heineken tonight!" There were legs: long, bare, and skinny. There were judges: Jane's Addiction's Perry Farrell, photographer Mick Rock, SPIN editor Doug Brod, Island Record's Mark DiDia, Sam Endicott of The Bravery, and of course, John Varvatos.

And there were bands:

The Fast Romantics from Calgary, Canada. Clean cut and black clad, with an R&B influence reminiscent of the J. Geils Band ("Freeze Frame," "Centerfold") but without J. Geils. The sound was polished, the look was carefully prepared, and the music failed to move me or, apparently, anyone else in the audience. The judges' comments were difficult to hear. Sam Endicott of The Bravery, who seemed to be the most articulate of the lot, complained that the choruses were not as memorable as they should be. Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction, on the other hand, complimented the sexy female percussionist and expressed his appreciation for the group having driven down from Calgary, which "must have been hell but a hell of a lot of fun."

The Reckless Sons from New York City claim influence from the Replacements and the New York Dolls, but what I saw was pure Springsteen--from lead vocalist Mark Butler's curly brown hair and torn t-shirt, to his sweaty, muscular performance, to his soulful country-influenced cries. At the end of the performance, John Varvatos shouted, "That's what I call rock and roll!" I caught only one word from Sam Endicott's judgment: "raw." That word sums up the band's strength--the joyous ragged edge of great classic rock--and its weakness--a lack of polish, an lackluster instrumentals. If Butler can clean up his rock and find his own sound, he has a bright future. The crowd seemed to agree.

The Howlers of Chile claim to "cause total chaos and disorder" in their live shows, but the only disorder was in the lead singer's mop-top. A Latin cross between Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp, he looks like a movie star, but he's no punk singer. The rhythm section, on the other hand, was tight--best of the night. If they ditch the vocalist, they might be able to get the heck out of Chile. Sam Endicott shared my view about the rhythms and wanted more melody. Perry Farrell said that "the super sexy look goes a long way" and that he was psyched about the band inviting him to Chile.

The Scrambled Eggs from Lebanon couldn't make it. Visa problems, someone said. Free the noise, dude.

After the performances, the judges deliberated for several minutes, leaving the tattooed MC to regale the audience with another Heineken cheer and then complain to the judges, "I'm not a stand up comedian. Can we hurry it up?"

The winner: The Reckless Sons

The prize: An Island Records deal and a feature in the next John Varvatos Star USA advertising campaign.

The loser: John Varvatos. The Reckless Sons deserved the win, but they're no Rolling Stones, not even close. Better luck next time, John. Thanks for the Heineken.