So Al-Qaida's No. 2 leader (or maybe its no. 1, if rumors of Osama's demise have any credence) released a taped message today, redeclaring war on America and calling its new President-elect a 'house negro.'

I didn't grow up in a family that talked about politics. I knew that my step-dad's parents were yellow-dog democrats and that my dad and his mom were die-hard republicans. My mom voted for Reagan in 1980, so I figured she and my step-dad were republicans, too (turns out they SO aren't, thank goodness). Beyond that, I didn't think about it much. Dinner table conversation revolved around my parents' work lives and what happened in school that day. After dinner, we played board games or watched television.

If you're single, and you want to meet someone, where do you go? People always meet one another at bars, right? Get a little drunk, engage in a little chit-chat with comely strangers, perhaps take one home, at least get some digits. Right? Wrong. I, for one, have never had the courage to converse with strangers. Well, that’s not entirely correct. Once engaged in conversation, I can talk with just about anybody, though I may bore them to distraction. What I cannot do is approach a complete stranger and initiate conversation.

Hello, daggers. Thank you so much for all your for dedication, hard work, and sacrifice this past year. A special shout out to Orlando for delivering the once-red state of Indiana.