William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Douchebags at bars rejoice that "sperm is good for you" line now has scientific backing

    Lest you ever forget the science community is a sausage-fest:

    There is growing evidence that human semen has the potential to produce profound effects on women. We have replicated the effects showing female college students having sex without condoms are less depressed as measured by objective scores on the Beck Depression Inventory. We’ve also examined the data as a function of whether the students were using hormonal contraceptives, whether they were in committed relationships, and how long these relationships have lasted. The anti-depressant properties of semen exposure do not vary as function of any of these conditions. It is not a question of whether females are sexually active, since students having sex with condoms show the same level of depression as those who are not having sex at all. We have also received numerous semen testimonials from other women who attest to the anti-depressant effects of semen exposure and these accounts often include the use of control trials (i.e., comparisons generated by switching from condoms to unprotected sex, or vice a versa).

    Yes, ladies, sperm is good for you and making your partner wear a condom is making you sad. You’re Spermatically Depressed! Process THAT!

    Oh, why yes, this story did appear in The Huffington Post, why do you ask?


    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles



    Seems to me this would make fairly obvious evolutionary sense though, eh? Then again, I WOULD say that, wouldn't I? Which is why it's best to just leave the scientific debate aside, and reserve this sort of fact for responsible bar-time usage.

    I get angry with myself for even visiting HuffPo and especially when I bite on a headline like "Environmentalist killed execution style"--thinking it might be someone I know in Colorado. Turns out, small village, deep in Brazil, and authorities actually suspect it was a robbery. A ruse, and I should know better. In fact, I thinking they are destroying their original brand, but what the heck, anything for a wider audience and more bucks.

    As far as your subject story, not qualified to comment on it.

    This isn't about sperm. It's that using a condom is like wearing a raincoat. And raincoats depress the hell out of me... cause it's raining.

    Off to piss on the next blog....

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