MY OFFICE – Blogger William K. Wolfrum came out and admitted today what many had long suspected – that he has a masturbation problem.

“Looking at it pragmatically, yes, I do have a problem,” said Wolfrum, unaware of the pun he was about to create. “When times get hard, I go to masturbation.”

What Wolfrum and his critics are pointing to and laughing at is Wolfrum’s penchant to incorporate masturbation as a central theme in his blog posts. Previous masturbatory posts include:

• Oklahoma law to hold men accountable for sperm murder
• Get your masturbation on at the Huffington Post
• South Dakota gets longest male masturbation waiting period

Many have pointed out that the South Dakota masturbation post reads quite a bit like the Oklahoma masturbation post, acknowledging it as a sign Wolfrum had begun masturbating to his own masturbations, to coin a phrase.

“I know he’s Mr. Fancy-Pants Interesting Point Guy, but enough with the masturbation, ok?” said one disgruntled reader. “It’s played out.”

For his part, Wolfrum admitted he needed to cut back on masturbatory posts.

“All this focus on masturbation is taking the focus away from the array of topical posts I write daily,” said I, kind of losing track of character perspective in this post. “From here on out, I will avoid playing with masturbation, except in blatant ego-stroking posts such as this.

“He-he. Stroking,” he (?) added.

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles