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    Child, 9, murders more than 100,000 in video game

    By William K. Wolfrum on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 8:58am | Humor & Satire

    DULUTH - In a scene of overwhelming carnage, Bobby Jenkins, 9, brutally murdered more than 100,000 people, zombies, and other entities yesterday.

    The slaughter began at 3:30 p.m. yesterday, when Sally Jenkins, mother of Bobby, allowed her son to play the video game "Slaughter Everything." After doing some bills, Sally Jenkins stumbled across the murder scene and immediately sent young Bobby to his room.

    "It was really unsettling," said Sally Jenkins. "He was just going crazy, slaughtering everybody."

    While his mother was upset at the murder rampage, her son seemed to have no remorse for his actions.

    "That was AWESOME," said Bobby.

    There is currently no investigation into the mass murder, and families of the deceased have been urged to continue playing their roles in the video game. Sally Jenkins said that there was a positive side to the scene of what many are calling genocide.

    "At least his 2-year-old sister is still alive," said Sally Jenkins. "And so are our neighbors and his schoolmates. Maybe I should just make sure he plays video games compatible for someone his age."

    --WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    Similar to how some deal with gateway drugs, Bobbies addiction; may lead to more and more heinous crimes to satisfy his cravings.


    by Resistance on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 6:13pm

    Satire: Very difficult concepts for people Wolfy.  yes Just ask The Daily Currant.


    by tmccarthy0 on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:18pm

    I used to play these games - specifically Bloodrayne, Max Payne and Grand Theft Auto. I didn't think twice about it. The names don't really hide what they are either - it's kind of right there.

    I saw Max Payne 3 for sale when I came back from the Islands. Looking at the plot actually made me really sad - it was a little disturbing. Max Payne is no longer shooting up folks stateside - he now lives in Africa and is addicted to painkillers (I'm serious).

    It was a very different plot than the first few games and it seemed like the creators added that sadness on purpose. I think the first Max Payne games were like The Punisher - he was avenging his family who were gunned down in a mob killing.

    Nonetheless, these games really are no good. I think they are a symptom of a larger social decay - a healthy child would have a healthy social environment where it's not even possible to spend six hours a day playing violent or non-violent video games because he would be in a community that requires him to take on other responsibilities.

    All these things - guns, shootings, violent video games, drugs - are evidence of really bad social environments - you could have tons of firearms in a healthy community but no shootings because children would actually be monitored and included and those dangerous items looked after and stored away. I don't think that people in this country anymore feel strong enough belonging to any family or community to take on that sort of effort toward building a social structure.

    I hope that comment wasn't too lengthy and heavy - I do realize this was satire. LOL


    by Orion on Wed, 05/08/2013 - 1:52am

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