Dear Dark Lord of the Sith, Dick Cheney;

How’s life out of politics going?  Are you hanging out with your friends?  You know, the ones from Haliburton who made millions of dollars off of the no bid contracts that you made sure they got in Iraq and Afghanistan.  I bet war profiteering has done wonders for your social life, you must be the most popular guy around the country club – getting drinks bought for you and toasted at the social gala etc. 

Some people would think that your willingness to corporatize the war making your old friends at Haliburton millions of dollars while American soldiers are being killed makes you a heartless bastard, but I don’t, I feel sorry for you.  Because I know deep down inside you are just a scared little sissy who just wants a hug.

Dick, before you get offended, like most scared little sissys do, let me explain.

Iraq war profiteering aside, you’ve been making the rounds in the media declaring Obama is making America less safe by closing Guantanamo Bay and not pursuing the 1984-esque surveillance tactics that the Bush administration did.  I don’t want to debate the validity of your claims; I don’t have the national security expertise to dissect these assertions, however, this attitude of keeping America safe and the Constitution and civil liberties be damned shows what a frightened little wuss you are.

I’m sorry to break this to you Trickier Dick, but America will never be safe.  No matter how many draconian surveillance laws are enacted and no matter how much effort is put into national security, America will never be fully secure.  Security is a fallacy and seeking it at any cost is foolish and indicative of a scaredy-cat. 

There are too many targets for terrorists to attack.  This is not to say that the government should not strive to protect the US; one of the basic responsibilities of government is to protect citizens from danger, but realize the task of making America 100% secure is futile and idiotic.  Please, Dick, if you take nothing more away from this letter realize this: complete security is a logical impossibility.

With that being said, the question arises: What extent should the government go to to protect the populous?  The answer to this question is indeed complex, but can found quite easily in the Constitution in the form of due process, the rule of law, and our civil liberties. 

There is no other document that defines America more than the Constitution.  The ideas contained therein are what makes America America: equality, justice, and most importantly, liberty.  Because you are such a scared little wuss you helped pursue policies that attack these uniquely American ideas.  You have done more to undermine the American way of life than many terrorists do by your deliberate attempt to quash liberty and justice.

Dick (figuratively and literally), you seem like a well educated guy.  Do you remember the American patriot Patrick Henry?  During the revolutionary era he famously remarked, “Give me liberty or give me death.”  He didn’t just say that to be cute.  He meant it.  He would rather die than give up his liberty.  Unlike you, he wasn’t afraid of the repercussions of living in a free society.  He didn’t say, “Give me some liberty, but not too much, because I’m afraid of what will happen if I live in a country where the government’s big-brother-like security policies can’t protect me from the scary terrorists.” Patrick Henry realized that there is a price to pay for liberty, and sometimes that price is insecurity and consequently death.

You see, Dicky-boy, this country was founded on the idea that it is better die for the principles of equality, justice, and liberty than to live in a society that usurps the God given freedom bestowed upon its citizens.  And yes, we are that serious about it.  Death is preferable to allowing a petrified politician to take our freedom. 

Darth Cheney, when you say Obama’s policies are making us less safe, I say “Thank goodness!”  Because I would rather be less safe than less free.  I’m sorry if you can’t wrap your frightened brain around that idea, but it’s the opinion of me, most other Americans, and certainly of our Founding Fathers. 

So do me a favor, next time you feel like grandstanding about how dangerous it is to respect civil liberties and the Constitution have yourself a warm glass of shut-the-eff-up and shut the eff up.  Stop being such a wuss. 

Sincerely yours,
Larry S. Jankens