Three strangers on their way to Sodom stopped at Abraham’s house, and he offered them food and shelter. One of the strangers promised Abraham that Sarah would give birth in one year’s time. Sarah, who was eavesdropping on the conversation, heard the stranger and laughed, for at 90, she was post-menopausal.

God, who was eavesdropping on Sarah, asked Abraham why Sarah had laughed, for was he not all-powerful and could he not enable a 90-year-old woman to conceive if he chose? So Abraham confronted Sarah. She denied the laughing, and they had a boring argument about whether or not she had laughed.

Then the strangers left for Sodom, and God told Abraham that he intended to destroy the city because its people were sinful. Abraham very delicately suggested that collective punishment might be a bit unfair and ruin God's reputation for justness.

Commentary: Did Abraham realize that he was speaking to the deity who had recently wiped out humanity in a flood?

Abraham and God then haggled over the number of innocent residents necessary to spare the city. Abraham managed to negotiate God down from fifty to ten.

Commentary: I commend Abraham for his haggling skills, but if I were Abraham, I would have said, "God, if you're so all-powerful, can't you just throw brimstone on the bad people?" On second thought, maybe trash-talking¹ God's aim isn't the most prudent approach.

¹Trash-talking: From Low Aramaic slang; literally, “spitting feces.”

The Heretic's Bible is a translation of a recently discovered commentary by a notorious first century heretic, Joseph the Latriner. The commentary is presented in italics with footnotes by the translator.

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