Senator Scott Brown (R-MA) is desperately fighting off an election challenge from MSNBC host, Rachel Maddow. Though Maddow insists that she has no interest in running for Senate, Brown is not deceived by her evasions. After alerting donors to the Maddow threat in a fundraising letter, he aggressively challenged her alleged non-campaign on the airwaves, vowing, "With all due respect, I'm going to continue to fight and do my job and work hard to do just that. And, er, bring her on. I don't care."

But Brown's chances of holding onto his seat are fading quickly. Smelling blood, a host of political celebrities have now announced separate challenges for the Massachusetts senate seat. The list includes Michael Moore, George Soros, Rev. Jeremiah Wright, ACORN, Osama Bin Laden, Al Jazeera, and Satan. Senator Al Franken (D-MN) is also considering running against Brown despite the fact that he is already a senator. Van Jones, the former White House Council on Environmental Quality's Special Adviser for Green Jobs who gained infamy for his plot to incite a Marxist revolution, reportedly dropped his own campaign plans after Satan announced his candidacy.

But Brown isn't backing down. His campaign has filed several voting fraud lawsuits in a preemptive strike against anticipated Democratic tricks, and he has reportedly pimped his pickup with racing seats, monster-truck tires, a playboy hood ornament, and a bumper sticker that says, "Jesus Loves You Unless You Voted for Health Care." As a guest on The Glenn Beck Show, he declared, "I don't care what they do. They can lock me up in a reconciliation chamber while they humiliate my daughters on national T.V. And, er, bring 'em on!"