The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    Donal's picture

    selective dag

    By Donal on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 10:46am | Humor & Satire

    I was just reading about a firm called Selective Search, which charges men a minimum of $20,000 a year to set them up on dates with suitable women.

    Why Some People Will Pay $20,000 For a Date

    Selective Search uses a 15-page form with questions about charity work, health, exercise habits and past relationships. More importantly, interviewers rate the women's looks:

    Her face on a scale of 1 to 10, How is her skin? What size do you estimate she is on top? and What size do you estimate she is on bottom? This system has led to 1,221 marriages and 417 babies; 88% of [CEO Barbie Adler's] clients meet their eventual spouse in the first nine months.


    I think there's a golden opportunity for dag to provide similar services - Matching up opinionated bloggers with bloggers that disagree vehemently, matching religious bloggers with bloggers yet to be saved, matching bloggers that like blockquotes with those that don't, matching bloggers that ask questions with those that already know everything and finally matching up larger nations with smaller nations in need of a just war.

    This could be a real moneymaker, once I compose the 15-page form.

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    No fatties, no anorexics, no post-modernists, post-structuralists, or recently fired postal workers. For the record, I'm not bald; I'm balding. So I will be bald. Enclosed find my $20,000 cheque. In Canadian money. Keep the change.


    by acanuck on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 12:35pm

    Will you offer to screen out those north of the 49th parallel? I've heard stories (which I can't repeat on a family-blog) about them…


    by Verified Atheist on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 12:58pm

    Most of those stories are true, but at least half involve quinn. So he's the only one who needs screening. Oh, but let me add to my bio: "Warning: I am danger." That always appeals to the ladies.


    by acanuck on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 1:03pm

    I've given this some thought Donal, I seriously doubt any of the men commenting at DAG would qualify as suitable mates.  Who would fence with me? Ride a bicycle for 100 miles with me? Go to comicon with me and my boys? Go to Zombicon with me? Travel back to my childhood home with me? Which one will not drip cheetos all over my floor? Which one would leave my god damned music server alone and not put their own crap on it? Who will clean up the kitchen after a full day of me cooking without bitching and moaning and finally, since it took me so long to train my one and only husband, I simply do not have the time to train a virtual husband, they must come pre-trained and clearly no one here has that qualification. No Donal, you need to charge much more than that and weed out the knuckleheads.

    Hahahaha, funny blog Donal.


    by tmccarthy0 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 1:06pm

    Did I mention I am danger? Jeez, you can't have that and kitchen cleanups too. You're way too picky, Tess.


    by acanuck on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 1:09pm

    You freaked me out a little there acanuck.... only my very closest friends refer to  me as Tess.  And yes I am very picky, very, very picky.


    by tmccarthy0 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 1:20pm

    So you're saying a second date is out of the question? Well, we can still be friends. Just to even things up, since I guessed your secret identity, you can call me Nuck.


    by acanuck on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 1:25pm

    I am pretty sure our first date was out of the question, I only ever dated scientists, I am pretty sure no self-respecting scientist ever posted at DAG. Plus you are a feriner (sic)... how can a good 'Merican (sic) like myself, virtually date a feriner (sic).

    However, we can play scrabble, if you can beat me, I'll make you something yummy to eat. But you have to clean up. But cleaning up after my cooking is a big job.

    For instance tonight, I have a sponge started 'cause we are having pizza. Tonights toppings will be artichoke hearts, green olives, hearts of palm, fresh spinach and fresh heirloom tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and parmissiano-reggiano, it will be baked on my pizza stone. We will have salad and steamed veggies to go with the main course. There is also some left over minestrone soup, made from scratch, of course. We don't eat processed food in this house, and for dessert, snicker-doodles. But next month we will be having tiramisu for #1 son's birthday cake.

    I think I deserve your real name now though, as long as your real name is Geddy Lee. En Garde.


    by tmccarthy0 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 1:45pm

    Geddy Lee? Oh, so close. But no.

    If I could pick any Canadian musician to be, it'd prolly be Leonard Cohen. For his songwriting certainly, but pick up Live in London (ideally the DVD version) if you want to hear a 73-year-old (now 76) at the peak of his on-stage prowess. The man's a national treasure.

    The food sounds yummy too. But like I said, I don't do kitchens. I am danger, dammit.


    by acanuck on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 2:09pm

    You are very old aren't you, just mentioning Leonard Cohen makes me think you might be around 70. And my food is always excellent, except the time I decided to BBQ a homemade pizza and I burned it to a crisp, we called it blackened pizza, but it wasn't spicy at all.

    Yours always:

    virtual Tess.


    by tmccarthy0 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 2:47pm

    Not quite that old, but as Cohen sings, "I ache in the places where I used to play." I've been a fan for decades, since he was just a poet and novelist, not a singer/songwriter.

    Virtual Nuck


    by acanuck on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 2:57pm

    Did you just brush off Geddy Lee with the singer/songwriter slam when he is perhaps the greatest drummer of all time, even better than John Bonham!!! 

    Wow.... I suppose next you will attack Rick Moranis and Marty Short, two men that I love very, very much. Oh I am sure you will.

    I have to get to my kitchen now, since you are all danger and you refuse to help clean up.

    Virtual Tess


    by tmccarthy0 on Thu, 03/24/2011 - 6:12pm

    Cohen, yes. This one was pretty awesome.

    And just 'cause ... this is also pretty bad-ass.

     


    by kgb999 on Fri, 03/25/2011 - 7:27am

    Don, you're left handed wit just kills me !!     lol


    by Tommy Holmes on Fri, 03/25/2011 - 6:00am