Hello dagsters. I'm happy to announce the marriage of one of our legendary founders, the man who puts the D in dagblog, the blogger with a thousand questions and inordinately large sunglasses: Deadman. He was married to the lovely Mrs. Deadman on Halloween night in Saratoga Springs, New York. There have been reports of widespread despair among eligible women across the nation. One distraught young woman was so upset that she ate seven pints of passionfruit Pinkberry yogurt with gummy bears and had to be hospitalized. (Sales of the popular frozen dessert spiked immediately after the ceremony.)

I had planned to report live on the ceremony for dagblog, but I shed so many tears during the vows that I shorted out my laptop. The details of the event are fuzzy, but I recall a hilarious and touching slideshow, a moving toast by Deadman's eloquent brother, delicious food, and a parade of purple manatees on rhinestone rollerskates, though the last bit may have been a hallucination that I had after collapsing on the dance floor during a maritally-induced frenzy of passionate gyration. The only dark spot of the wedding was Deadman's karaoke remake of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline," which sent frightened guests screaming for the exit. (We are trying to obtain the video for press.)

Deadman had also invited me to deliver a groomsman's toast during the rehearsal dinner, but logistical complications, which Deadman claims to have been accidental, prevented me from doing so. Therefore, I have recorded the toast-that-wasn't for posterity. This is my first appearance in video at dagblog, so please excuse the amateur production. (My prompter was too low on the screen, causing me to appear shifty-eyed, and I was forced to wash out the color in order to make my skin more palatable to sensitive viewers.)

Please feel free to share your own wishes and congratulations, as well as to beg Deadman to return to his regular columns now that the wedding is behind him. For those who have not had the opportunity to meet the beautiful Mrs. Deadman or hear Deadman's sonorous singing voice, I have also included the following video, published here a few months ago.