This feels like a strange thing to share so publicly, but since I've written about my mom a few times, I also feel compelled to tell you that she has finally passed away.

The end was as fast as the disease was agonizingly slow. I got a call and six hours later she was gone. There were no signs that the end was coming, at least that I would have recognized. Monday she was fine. Tuesday she was gone. It was a very peaceful death. She simply slipped away, with her family around her.

Grief is weird. I've been numb, manic, and sad. Eating hasn't been a priority but drinking has been high on the list and I've temporarily reinstated smoking. At times, I don't know quite what to do. But there are things to be done. I told someone yesterday that they should teach this stuff in Home Ec (or whatever they call it now). I learned how to cook, but I never learned how to proof read a death certificate or shop for an urn. Like I said, grief is weird.

I've been grieving already for so many years that I didn't know what to expect at the end. But amongst the muddle of feelings and list of strange and mundane things to do, what I feel most is great relief. Her suffering is over. My suffering is over. Life can finally go on.

It feels almost too personal to be sharing this, but when I've written about her before, people have shared their own stories of Alzheimer's and other instances of grief and loss and it's been comforting to me. So, thanks to everyone.

That said, please do not feel like you have to leave a comment on this post. If you don't know what to say, or don't have anything to say, it's cool. It's been a weird few days, capping off some very hard years. And I feel lighter than I have in a long time.