William K. Wolfrum's picture

    How I came to Dominate DagBlog by William K. Wolfrum

    By William K. Wolfrum on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 3:15pm | Arts & Entertainment, Humor & Satire, Media

    Hey kids, it's me, Bill. I hope you like the headline to this post, as it will be coming in book form soon. And not the Genghis translation of soon, which equals 14 weeks. He's like a Brazilian that way.

    Any way, I was trying to think of something witty to write involving whatever two Googe Trending Topics meshed the best ("Obama and Wall Street tackle the 2010 NFL Draft"), but I couldn't stop thinking about a certain fact - just how much I dominate Daglblog. Please, I mean no offense. But you folks have become my warm up act. And let me tell you - it feels nice. Really nice. Got myself a nice little contributor gig at Alan Colmes'Web site, I dominate Dagblog, and with the exception of mild outbursts of self-importantce, I'm a pretty good guy, to boot.

    There have been a few hits, of course, from the rest of the Dagblog crew.. Lots really:

    There's Genghis' Who Hijacked Yahoo Mail" that has truly had meaningful, insightful conversation about a real issue.

    Everything Dr. Cleveland writes is brilliant. I think it's the name that hurts him, really. It gives off a creepy vibe and scares away potential reader. Because his stuff is just great.

    Larry's a lot like me, but with an overactive id. Orlando writes here, too. Sometimes with boobquaking results.

    But really, what I want to say to you all is that by every ranking factor - number of posts, quality of posts, posts that include "William K. Wolfrum" in the title, readers, smarter readers, just plain more and better readers, I dominate Dagblog.

    It is with this that I offer two possibilities:

    1) Dagblog throws a swanky admiration party, complete with Quinn dancing as Mega-Shark does my toenails. Basically, a lavish affair that's all about me and how I am your new God. or;

    2) You guys start bringing it. Enough of the "blah-blah, writing a book."or "Blah blah in my final semester to become a doctor of nuclear communications" or "blah blah, you self-importants pigs suck,"or whatever. I want to see some fire. The same fire that has made this the mediocre blog that so few of us really love.

    With hugs from your new God,

    Bill

     

     

    Topics: 
    Arts & Entertainment
    Humor & Satire
    Media

    Comments

    Dear readers, we're not sure how Mr. "Wolfrum" obtained unauthorized access to dagblog, but he has so far defied our best efforts to block his "contributions." We have now employed the top anti-spam experts in Nigeria, and I feel confident that you will not have to read his self-aggrandizing blather much longer. He (or she) is obviously a very troubled individual, and we urge you to avoid all contact.


    by Michael Wolraich on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 3:42pm

    Nice try, so-called Wolfrum, but you've been outflanked.

    Because meanwhile, I've developed a SUPER-MEGA-BLOG. Mostly, I put pictures I like on it, and videos of music that actual human beings who have some residual sense of rhythm would like (along with my 17 star rating system), and from time to time, get depressed and write something. But as any intelligent blogger knows, that's a last resort.

    http://quinntheeskimo.posterous.com/

    As for this place, I've seen more people in a ice-fishing shack. (Which sounds like a good insult, but really isn't - because those shacks turn out to be wild/crazy party centrals. Who knew?)

    Personally, I blame Orlando. (No point in blaming Genghis, he'll just delete my comment, in that Articlemanesque way he's developing.)(Good insult, eh? Two for one!)

    BTW. Is Holmes or Colmes or whatever he's called as boring in real life? Those people are AWFUL. They'd be waaaaay better off worshipping Mega-Shark.


    by quinn esq on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 3:58pm

    Dear readers, we have reason to believe that "quinn the eskimo" is yet another pseudonym of the ubiquitious "Wolfrum." This pseud is possibly more dangerous than "Wolfum" himself (or herself). Whatever you do, do not click its link.


    by Michael Wolraich on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 4:54pm

    And here I was gonna buy 144 of your books.

    Just for that, I'm gonna buy just the one - and then blog about it 143 times.

    Strongly supporting it.


    by quinn esq on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 6:56pm

    P.S. That "Alan" place? Whoa. Dude. There are some HURTIN' units frequenting that li'l shop.

    (And I speak as someone who's dealt with both "Nebton" and "acanuck" in his time.)

    Those people are Life Fail.


    by quinn esq on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 7:03pm

    I find them delightful. Also, Fox News - Fair and Balanced.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 7:13pm

    "Orlando writes here too"? I'm not even important enough to be insulted? *sniff*

    by Orlando on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 8:49pm

    Maybe if you had a creepier name.


    by Doctor Cleveland on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 8:52pm

    I wasn't even aware that you actually wrote here.


    by Michael Wolraich on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 9:42pm

    Who're you talking to?

    by quinn esq on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 9:44pm

    Kinda fixed.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Thu, 04/22/2010 - 10:58pm

    I'd comment, but I'm busy eating fried foods while watching Skin-e-max and smoking cigarettes.


    by Larry Jankens on Fri, 04/23/2010 - 3:59am

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