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    Questions: The Ipod Shuffle Edition ...

    Partly inspired by Prophet and his ongoing top 10 albums of 2008 series, and partly because I'm otherwise uninspired, I've decided to take a different tact for this week's questions: I am going to press shuffle on my IPod Nano and create a question somehow related to each of the first 10 songs that come up. I will also be giving some very quick commentary on the songs.

    I am uncertain how well this process will lend itself to thought-provoking questions, and I will certainly be risking great personal embarrassment by exposing my music collection to the dagworld at large.

    I reserve the right to skip any song that has no lyrics, has nonsensical lyrics, or is just too damn mortifying (even for me, who may be the most shameless person I know). Power on ... press shuffle ... and here we go ...

    1) Gone Daddy Gone. Gnarles Barkley. A fine opener. Infectious, fun beat. Like almost all Gnarles songs, doesn't overstay its welcome. My rating 8/10.

    2) Cry Baby, Janis Joplin. Has any singer been fiercer than Janis? Look at the lyrics alone, and it seems like she is playing the weak woman, basically begging a man to come back to her ... and yet with that voice, you can't help but also hear the implied threat - 'You want something to cry about, I'll give you something to cry about!' 7/10.

    3) Circle Game, Joni Mitchell. Kind of funny that Joni comes right after Janis. They both have such powerful instruments with their voices yet use them in such different ways. I love songs - or any art, for that matter - that inspire melancholic, nostalgic thoughts, and this one does that for me. It's a simple, beautiful melody. The lyrics and overriding metaphor are a bit cliched, perhaps, but it doesn't bother me one whit. 7/10.

    4) Handsome Devil, The Smiths. Some songs I'm not sure how they got on my IPod. The beat's OK but doesn't do much for me, and the lead singer's voice is a bit grating. But damn, the lyrics are nasty, so I have to give it some props for that. 5/10.

    5) Believe, Cher. OK, this is one that comes very close to being too mortifying, and if I had any real shame, I'd never admit I had this song on my IPod. I sure as hell wouldn't admit that I can't help but wanna dance when I hear this song or that this ain't even the only Cher song I got. The computerized voice vibratto effects on this one are particularly gratifying. Really. 6/10.

    6) Think I'm in Love, Beck. This may not be one of Beck's best songs, but it's definitely one of his more approachable, comprehensible tunes. Good beat. Like the violin transition about halfway through and at the end. No one does awkward, desperate romance better than Beck. 7/10.

    7) Knocking on Heaven's Door. Guns n Roses. Axl & Co. do a fine job with their cover of this classic Dylan song, revving up the guitars and rockness factor while otherwise staying mostly true to the original. Could do without some of the bells and whistles, like the gun sound effects and answering machine message, but you gotta love the way Axl belts out 'Door-oor-oooor.' 6/10.

    8) What a Wonderful World. Louis Armstrong. OK, it's treacly, and trite, and we know the world isn't always wonderful, or maybe even usually. But like Obama and his soaring rhetoric of hope and optimism, I believe in what Louis is selling. Especially on a beautiful 60-degree day in December. 7/10.

    9) Let it be, Beatles. Just a beautiful song. Lovely piano playing, and god, Paul can sing. When I was in St. Louis for the Thanksgiving holiday, our family saw this Beatles retrospective at a local playhouse, and it was hilarious watching them try to recapture the Beatles' magic. Beatles cover bands should be banned but Beatles cover bands with a fat and old Paul should be fined and/or jailed. 9/10.

    10) Black Acres, Elysian Fields. A sexy, sultry song to close out this little experiment. An entrancing bass beat, with beautiful violin and piano throughout. You can't help but feel a little Randy (or in my case, a little Keri Wink) when the lead singer raspily declares, 'Touch me now, Touch me, Black Acres are Claiming Me." 8/10.

    OK, this was fun ... Will have to do it again sometime. Lyric-inspired questions in comment section.



    "Gone Daddy Gone" Lyric: Beautiful girl lovely dress. High school smiles oh yes. Beautiful girl lovely dress. Where she is now I can only guess?

    Q: What percentage of former lovers have you kept in contact with?

    Over 75% for sure. I have this fascination with keeping in touch with people who have meant something in my life, even if the 'season' where they meant something more to me has passed. It's not always been easy for current girlfriends to have this tendency, but it's important to me.

    Nice trick question Deaddude. See, if the denominator is, errr... 0... no no no, let's say.... 1.... then, the % thing gets pretty easy. So I'd say about 6,971%.

    At this point, none.  I think I prefer it this way.  In fact, I know I prefer it this way.

    Only one - my daughter's mom.

    None,  don't see the need.  I do see a couple of them around and stop and chat a second.  Wave to the 2 exes when I see them just to see if they will EVER wave back (not yet). 

    "Cry Baby" Lyric: I know you got more tears to share babe,  so come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, and cry, cry baby.

    Q:  How often do you cry.  When was the last time you cried?

    A LOT! I am most definitely a crybaby - It used to be very embarrassing when I was younger (tho on further consideration, i cry much less often now). Despite the deadman moniker and quasi-obsession with death I'm generally a happy dude, but I cry out of sadness, out of pain, out of joy, and sometimes out of I don't know why. I last cried the other night during a personal convo with the girlfriend.

    Daily. You had me at Knockin' On Heaven's Door.

    Are you kidding?  I cry over commercials.  I cry every time Obama makes a speech.  This week I'm so broke I cry over spilt milk.

    I cried last Monday. Before that, on election night. It's not MOFT.

    I never used to cry until I got older and my body changed.  Now I cry embarassingly easy and I dislike it.  But I am grateful I don't cry when I get really angry. I have also finally quit crying about Obama wining the election but will probably start back up for the inauguration.  Last cried about two weeks ago listening to a client talk about his wife that died about 4 months ago.

    "Circle Game" Lyric: Take your time, it won't be long now 'til you drag your feet to slow the circles down.

    Q: If you could pick one year to be forever, what age would you choose and why?

    I'll go with 25. Young, but not too young that I didn't have enough experience under my belt. Healthy, fit, near the sexual peak. I may go a few years older or younger but def my 20s.

    16. See next question.

    30.  I'd like to be 30 forever.  But, I want to be living alone this time around.

    I'm with Lis. 30 was the best year of my life so far! I'd gladly go back.

    29?!?!  Are you kidding, Dija?  I thought 29 was the most difficult age ever.  I mean, it was a good year, but in a challenging, personal growth sort of way.  Not the sort of thing I'd enjoy *repeating*. 30 is awesome, though.  So far I'd repeat it.  Actually, every year just keeps getting better.

    Actually, every year just keeps getting better.

    Yeah, that doesn't last.

    Crap.  I was afraid of that.

    45.  Phyiscally well, mentally stable, emotionally healthy, finally humble.

    "Handsome Devil" Lyric: Let me get my hands on your mammary glands, and let me get your head on the conjugal bed.

    Q: What was your first experience with porn? What were your thoughts about it?

    I was 16. Busty Banger came to stay at a cottage on our beach. Good. Really QUITE good.

    Thanks brother for allowing me the sneak peek (I think it could have been Oui magazine)! You changed my life, even though I didnt know it at the time. But even then, I knew it was Good and would remain a special part of my life forever.

    I think the first one I ever saw was one of those older porn flicks with a real storyline.  Yeah, it was "Behind the Green Door".  I thought it was funny as hell.  Since then I've moved on to more hardcore stuff, and I have no problem with it, provided I have someone with me to enjoy it.  Otherwise, watching it alone I find myself simply critiquing everything (the storyline, if there is one, the acting if there is any, how many times she looks at her watch, how many times he looks at his, etc.), which takes all the fun out of it.

    behind the green door is a classic ... man, aside from the fondness for too much hair in all the wrong places, older porn rocked. yes, i do believe critiquing porn as a medium to do anything other than getting yourself off would most def take all the fun out of it. but there are a couple of things in porn i can't stand as well, and foremost among them, is when the girl is unnaturally vocal (i mean, obviously so). i don't want silence like you usually get from the guys, mind you, but please keep it down a bit.

    I hear ya, Deadman.  (Pun intended).  Another thing that irks me:  The chicks get so busy posing for the camera that they start ignoring the task at hand.  (Yes, pun intended).

    Hell, if they wanna be models, be models. 

    My Dad's Playboys. I didn't think - I was too aroused.

    I was 24 and my ex took me to an drivein porn movie.  I found it rather boring and wanted to know what the plot was.  Visual porn doesn't do it for me, the literature stuff does.

    "Believe" Lyric: Do you believe in life after love?

    Q: Well, do you? More specifically, the last time someone broke up with you, did you ever, even for a moment, think you wouldn't be able to deal? How long did it take for you to get over it?

    Knew I was ok when I stopped rending my flesh. No. Wait. Takeback! No one has EVER broken up with me. Got that?

    Yes, I did. Even if I knew logically that it was silly, the feeling of loss and uncertainty was intense. It didn't take me too long tho to get over it, at least that depth of feeling - a couple dates, maybe (I mean, as soon as i met my current girlfriend, I knew it was for the best).

    I've been the one to end all of my major relationships, and I get over them pretty darn quick.  I suppose karma will get back at me, and the next relationship's end will be my undoing instead of my doing. 

    I took it hard every time.

    Who said "Men are like street cars - just wait another one will come along."  I ALWAYS think I'll not be able to deal, but it ends up okay evey time.  The longest was a year before I would stop shaking at the site of the x lover. 

    "Think I'm in Love" Lyric: I think I'm in love, but it makes me kinda nervous to say so ...

    Q: Have you ever had feelings for someone, a friend perhaps, and never told them? Do you regret it?

    Feelings? Sure. Disgust. Revulsion. Untrammeled Aggression. Spite. Suppose I should let these out. Maybe this aft.

    hahaha. sounds like true love to me.

    I've had crushes that I wish i would have acted on, but I don't think I've ever loved a close friend.

    I have this song on my Shuffle too.  Yes, I've had crushes that I never disclosed and now regret not having said anything. 

    I more regret the times I've acted on them rashly.

    Yes I have had feelings.  Didn't say and don't regret.

    "Knocking on Heaven's Door" Lyric: It's getting dark, too dark to see. I'm feeling like I'm knocking on Heaven's door.

    Q: Do you want to be conscious when you die, to feel life leave you, or would you rather be unaware?

    I wanna be conscious when OTHER people die.

    Come to think of it, I'd like to choose who. And when. And get to contribute to how.

    Axl Rose, f'instance.

    I think I want to be aware but only if I don't feel so much pain and if my brain is fully functioning (ie if im mostly a vegetable anyway and can't effectively process thoughts, id rather feel and know nothing)

    I'd rather not be aware.  Dying in my sleep is how I'd like to see it play out, and hopefully not anytime soon.

    I want to go in my sleep like my grandpa - not yelling and screaming like the other three people in his car.

    Conscious. Then again, I'm the one at the dentist watching what's going on my mouth through the reflections in the dentist's glasses.  But of old age, please.

    Surpisingly, I don't care.

    "What a Wonderful World" Lyric: I see friends shaking hands, saying how do you do? They're really sayin' 'I love you'

    Q: Do we as a general rule say I love you too often, sapping power from the phrase by using it too freely, or do we not say it enough, and by being so reserved not let people know how much they matter to us?

    I don't care how often we say it, it's HOW we say it.

    You gotta have that Barry White thing happenin', else you're just spinnin' tires.

    Have I told you guys how much I love you, lately?


    I think what matters is that we only say it when we mean it.  Insincere "I love you" is lame.  But otherwise, there really isn't a "too much."  The special occasions are still special, but "love you -- bye!" on the phone matters, too.

    We never say it enough.  We never let people know how much they matter to us.  I hear this all the time and I have do it myself.  When someone dies people always say "I wish I could have told him/her how much I cared/appreciated/respected them."  If you care say so - everyday.

    "Let it Be" Lyric: And when the broken-hearted people living in the world agree, There will be an answer, let it be.

    Q: Do you think 'Let it Be' is really an answer - do you feel most problems resolve themselves or that it's important to be more proactive? Or am I missing the meaning of the song entirely?

    Hint: Eb Ti Tel.

    Like they say in AA, "Let Go, and Let God".  Of course, if it's a problem with a practical solution, I work my damndest towards solving the problem myself.  But if it's something I have no control over, I "let it be" and more often than not, it gets resolved on its own.  BTW, I have an alternate version of this song on my iPod Shuffle, the one from "Across the Universe".  It always moves me to tears.

    Do it, do it, do it 'til you're satisfied (whatever it is).

    It always comes back to a river metaphor.... "Let it be" to me means "understand what is out of your control and work with it."  Picture yourself on a boat on a river.  And there's an rock in the middle.  You can go right of it; you can go left it; but if you try to go to the middle, you'll flip or get pinned.  Don't try to move the rock; don't try to float upstream.  But pick a side -- actively -- and go that way.

    I thought the song was about calming and balancing yourself inside no matter what is going on outside,  The peace you seek is within.  Maybe you have to be an old hippie to think that.

    'Black Acres' Lyric: He holds me up like a babe, pressing close. I can't behave. I need to have this little death.

    Q: If orgasms weren't free, but could only be had by buying them on the open market, how much would you pay for one? How many would you buy in a week?

    Donno. I work the supply side, baby, supply.

    dude, you are a riot. what then, would you charge Laughing???

    whatever are you people talking about?

    did you delete your own 'charge' comment, quinn? it was a friggin riot ... and my columns are a no-censorship zone. self-censorship i can't stop (but i discourage it highly) ...

    I'd blame A-man, but I cannot tell a lie. I cut down my cherry tree.

    I was afeared I was lowering the kinder gentler nature of the discourse here at Dagblog. Though with Resident Evil such as Orlando & LisB, perhaps I thought awrong.

    Shant happen again.

    Besides. My Mum reads all my stuff.

    Yeah, right?  And now my comment below looks silly, referring to a non-comment as I am now.  Sheesh.


    I'm confused.  Quinn's comment, as it stands right now, leads into Deadman's reply perfectly.  And the rest of it fits, too, except for this discussion about it not fitting.

    Quinn ventured into TMI territory earlier. Looks like he edited himself and is pretending nobody saw it.

    Why Lisb. Whatever are you speaking about?

    Hard to put a price on something like an orgasm.  What if I pay $350 for one, only to find that I could've gotten one just as good for $25?  I'd then want my money back for the $350 one unless I get some free multiples out of it later, a la Quinn the Eskimo's richter-scale jolting ones.  Wink

    I prefer to exchange them as gifts.

    Great answer.

    The ONLY answer.  You rock Donal.

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