And I'm proud to be an American, Where at least I know I'm free. And I won't forget the men who died, Who gave that right to me.

-- Lee Greenwood

Eric Garner         Walter Scott

        Philando Castile  

Terrence Crutcher

Lee Greenwood released God Bless America in 1984. After 911 it was re-released and has become the new unofficial national anthem. It's a song that invokes patriotism and unity. I've heard this song more times than I can count; I even read the lyrics a few times before I sat down to write this. God Bless America gave me the inspiration to write about arbitrary policing and the public killing of Black men and women by people sworn to protect them. I wish I lived in the America Lee Greenwood sang about. I wish I felt like a part of the American fabric the way he did in 1984. Most people are envious of the material wealth others have, I find myself envying the sense of patriotism people like Lee Greenwood have. It hurts to knowing America has never and will never love me the way Lee Greenwood loves her.  

I'm a "race hustler"; you've heard about my kind forever, but I'm most notably discussed on a variety of conservative media outlets. I never bought into the lie of a post-racial society. I hold the scandalous worldview that America still has serious racial issues to overcome. The public executions of people of color bothers me more than it seems to bother many of my fellow Americans. I'm also bothered by the state of public schools in several black communities, the data on unemployment and underemployment causes me to ask some questions, the disparities in the criminal justice system, and a bevy of other issues I can think of. I'm a "race hustler" because I point out the reality many in our country either don't understand, don't care about, or would rather ignore. Most people are tired of hearing about these grievances. I'm almost certain that I'm equally tired of experiencing many of these indignities and writing about the indignities others have endured.

Most "real" Americans remain silent during highly politicized incidents of police brutality. Don't think your silence goes unnoticed! We know when our friends can't find their tongues or keyboards. Some of you offer your "expertise" on issues concerning the black community when you feel we are wrong, but then go missing when presented with images that validate the claims we've been making over the years. We're not as stupid as you think. Our truth doesn't need to be validated to have value, but your silence acts as a wedge that loosens the trust that we've built. Some of our closest allies have an uncanny ability to see incidents of police brutality as disjointed from each other. This, in my opinion, is rooted in the historical denial of the plight of people of color in America. More times than not discussions about race digress into debates about what black America's priorities should be: as if one can't be upset about "black on black crime" and the legacy of racism in America at the same time. Highly publicized events are filtered through political and racial filters capable of negating video evidence and empirical data. Videos are broken down to the millisecond, words are parsed, and facts are stripped of their truth value. There are people who will do or say anything to avoid admitting that America still has a race problem.

Too many people choose to take sides based on race and ethnicity instead of right and wrong. Our collective ignorance and intellectual dishonesty has forced too many people into either or propositions that almost guarantee we will never find meaningful solutions to our collective problems. If I say #BlackLivesMatter and you hear anything other than those words, then it's not my responsibility to unpack the cognitive and linguistic baggage you bring to the discussion. I'm not a trained psychoanalyst or therapist. I don't know why people seeking justice and asking for equal treatment under the law causes anxiety inside of you. It's possible to grieve for the families of victims of police brutality and the families of cops killed in the line of duty: doing both is actually easier than walking and chewing gum at the same time. In America when people of color or Muslims commit crimes the elders in those communities are required to apologize for the actions taken by one of their own. The community elders have to assure greater society that we still love and value you, but when people of color die at the hands of law enforcement there's no such mechanism in place where greater society consoles our grief.

Discussions about race are exhausting. It takes entirely too much time to convince some people that there exists a reality in which some people have a set of experiences that are different from theirs. There's so much paranoia surrounding the legacy of white supremacy that the notion of white privilege, or as I like to call it "advantageous societal predisposition" causes a reflexive defensiveness to kick in. It's been my experience that the term white privilege makes people feel like they've received a gift they can't physically locate; whereas, advantageous societal predisposition places the onus back on society, but either way we have to be honest enough to admit that America has a lot of work to do. 

When people of color are the victims of arbitrary policing and police brutality their character is the first thing tried in the court of public opinion, as if being wrongfully accused or murdered in cold blood could ever be justified. The media is complicit in this character assassination. If I'm ever hashtagged the media won't use pictures of me addressing church congregations, giving a talk, on my wedding day, or helping some kid with their Algebra. You're more likely to see a picture of me leaving the gym on a cold day with a hooded sweatshirt, or me wearing a leather jacket and a baseball cap backwards. Instead of being someone's husband, son, brother, and friend, I'll be portrayed as a menacing threat that needed to be put down. If I get hashtagged White America won't have the collective freak-out they have when an animal is killed. I won't get the Harambe love. This is the reality that I can't lie to myself about. I can't afford to live in the fairy tale world where #AllLivesMatter. Not knowing my place in society can get me incarcerated or killed, and there's not any level of accomplishment that can shield my Black body from that societal reality. God didn't bless America and certainly hasn't sanctioned the injustices that continue to be part of our daily lives. I stand for the anthem, but I understand why others don't. The fact that more Americans are offended by people not pledging allegiance to a flag that represents a nation that has taken their lives for granted is a sign of how far we are from being an inclusive society. 

Keep it 100%: which pictures of me would the media use if I got hashtagged?