In a move that surprised only David Gregory, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced today that members of his party will work to filibuster Election Day 2010. Said McConnell, "the people have made it clear to us that they don't want to make their voices heard through government-sponsored voting booths funded by taxpayers. It's just one more step down the road to socialism."

When asked if he had the votes to stop the elections from going forward, McConnell expressed confidence. "There are more than a couple Democrat senators whose constituents would benefit from cancelling, I mean fillibustering, election day. Over the next year, we'll be working with these senators to craft a bi-partisan compromise to allowing people to choose their own representatives. And if that fails, we'll make sure Joe Lieberman knows he can get on a lot of talk shows if he joins our cause."

Senator John Kyl (R-AZ) echoed McConnell's sentiments, going even further, "Elections are a threat to the Constitution--to the very fundamentals of our democracy. They have elections in France. Do we really want to be like the French?"

In response, Senator Al Franken, in his first chance to give his party's formal response, called the Republican plan, "fucking retarded," before adding, "Hey guys, I'm new at this. Could that part be off the record?"

Mary Rogers, a self-proclaimed moderate from Ames, Iowa, wrote a letter to the editor of her local newspaper, stating, "I'm not so sure filibustering election day is a good idea. Isn't election day sort of the whole point?"

In the online comments to Ms. Rogers' letter, an individual going by the name of DrunkenPatriot replied, "the point is my freeeeeeeeeedom, you commie, feminazi, socialist, fascist, Islamic lover."

Over at Redstate.com, Erick Erickson's response to the plan was a bit more tempered. "It's the best idea anybody ever had in the history of ideas," said Erickson.

Asked for his opinion, Senator Evan Bayh (D-IN) thoughtfully responded, "Well, I think it's clear that our electoral system is in need of reform. I definitely don't support a public option and I think we should take our time with any plan. There's no need to decide any of this prior to election day. We should really let the voters decide."

When pressed further for details of the Republican reform plan, McConnell admitted his party did not have anything to make public at present but promised a bill would be released any day now. "We do agree that certain fundamentals must be realized in any election reform plan," McConnell said. "Those fundamentals include term limits for Democrats; redistricting votes by Republican House members only; and definitely no Acorn."

Representative Michele Bachmann expressed delight with her colleagues in the Senate. "Just think how many more Americans I can convince to vote against their own interests between now and then," she said.