If you are like me you have been fooled by movie trailers too many times. I’ll see a movie trailer and think to myself, “Hey that kinda seems cool, I’ll go see that in theaters,” and then go to the theaters and be severely disappointed. Or I’ll see a movie trailer and think to myself “Hey that seems like a flaming piece of crap that I will never waste my time on,” and then I’ll see the movie and it will actually be good. The problem is when you condense a feature length film into two or so minutes, it is easy to make it look great or horrible without actually revealing whether or not the movie is in fact great or horrible. So to be safe I only watch pirated movies on the internet. That way save my money to spend on important things like video games that have cool trailers. Since I won’t see any of these movies I’ll instead review their trailers, and give a grade on both the trailer and the movie. You can watch the movie and let me know how close I am. Trailer #1: The Other Guys, Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg Trailer Grade: C This trailer starts off pretty cool, Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock driving through NYC catching bad guys and quipping it up, but it gets a little boring at the 58 second mark when the trailer turns to what the movie will focus on: a buddy cop movie with Ferrell and Wahlberg. The apparent twist in this movie is that both of these cops who are also buddies a kind of douchy. What I found most humorous was when they make fun of Hollywood movie cliché explosions and then go on to include a several Hollywood cliché action stuff. Movie Grade Prediction: D Ferrell has a lot of street cred with some of his hits that were genuinely good (Talladega, Stranger Than Fiction, Anchorman, and all the Funny or Die stuff), but has recently fallen off (Step Bros., Curious George, Land of the Lost, Bewitched), so it is hard to get a bead on whether Ferrell running around with his shirt off (you know it’s going to happen) will be funny enough to save the movie. This may be one of the many examples of a movie trailer having all the cool stuff that movie has and thereby making the movie impotent and lame. Trailer #2: Human Centipede, Freaky German Guy Trailer Grade: B Let me start by saying I have a fear of Germans. Whether it is there Nazi past or their weird porno, I don’t like them and don’t trust them. I’m not racist, but I… Okay, maybe I am racist against Germans, but that is beside the point. From what I can tell, this movie is about a German surgeon who has a dream of making a human centipede by connecting 3 people face to ass – that’s right. Remember when you’re parents told you you could grow up to do anything you wanted, I think this is an exception. I mean really, WTF? That being said, the trailer is scary, Germans and sadistic experimental surgery. Movie Grade Prediction: F- First, why does this guy want to connect people ass to mouth – oh right he’s German. Second, I’m no MD, but I’m pretty sure this is impossible and therefore stupid. Third, this movie does a disservice to German people everywhere. How am I supposed to get over my irrational fear of German people when I watch a movie about Dr. Mengele’s son? Trailer #3: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, Michael Cera Trailer Grade: D It is way to short of a trailer to get a real feel for the movie and the beginning is a bit slow a mushy, but the rest of the trailer is promising. Michael Cera (of Arrested Development fame) doing what he does best: be an awkward teenaged boy, except in this movie he is fighting comic book villains. Based on the cult comic book classic of the same name, this movie combines aesthetics of comic books and awkward teenage love. It is hard to tell from the trailer if this is cool or lame. However, the fact that Ann (Her? Yes her, Michael Cera’s longtime girlfriend from Arrested Development) makes an appearance is a positive. Oh, and Cera’s love interest: Pick a hair color and stick with it. Movie Grade Prediction: C The only reason I’m giving this movie a C (as opposed to a D or F which I was originally going to give it) is because the guy who directed Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz (two of my all time favorite movies) is in charge of this movie. That being said, this could be a real stinker, especially because Michael Cera awkwardly adorable routine is starting get a little lame.