I got this epiphany of sorts.

Where should I put this thought or these thoughts?

I started something earlier in the week and I shall get to it.

How to begin?

My Grandaughter went to my son. 

And she asked a simple question, the type of question I never ever asked or questioned.

She asked her Dad:

Why am I Noela?

First, she went to Dad and not Mom?

Why?

And when I was a kid, I felt it somehow wrong to ask anything?

Here is this four-year-old asking existential questions.

As a matter of fact, that is how my son characterized the question.

I have assumed my entire life.

Well because

This guy said this and that gal said that and on and on and on and on...

NEVER ASSUME, IT MAKES AN ASS OUT OF...

Bulllshite

We assume everything or else we would never survive.

It is easier today of course.

Like the word APOLOGY.

But it was only a couple of years ago that I ACTUALLY looked up the damn word and the first definition is defined as 'defense'.

Only the second or third definitions located in any normal dictionary touch upon the concept of confession or remorse or whatever.

This was my initial idea concerning a series of essays concerning existence?

HAM ON NYE
I have watched about 35 debates about God & Science & Religion & Hogwash over the past year.

There are several that really struck me for several reasons and this debate between Bill Nye and Roger Ham was one of these.

​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekse95-owyo

​

Roger Ham claims that 4,000 years ago, a guy named Noah built an ark approximately 500 feet long and he put 7,000 'kinds' of animals inside this ark (X2) and Noah and his ark and his wife and his kids survived a giant flood that encompassed the earth.

And all animals were wiped out, including the rotten, sinning, bastard humans except for those rotten, sinning, bastard humans on the ark. hahhaahahh​
OKAY

NYE: Well, you really cannot fit 14,000 animals with less than ten folks to guard and feed them, into an ark of that size.

And, these mammals cannot survive an entire year out at sea.

Bill Nye appears on Maher discussing his wonderful experience with a Ham. hahahah

​https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZauBhigbc2s

​
So lately (the last decade?) all these 'scientists' decided to actually debate face to face idiots.
And yet, when these 'scientists' began to simply lecture with references to idiots.

WHY?

In my judgment, this new 'debate' involved money.

It became worthwhile to discuss subjects concerning idiots and confronting idiots because people would pay money to hear this crap!

And now I come to this nihilistic conclusion that:

I'VE LOOKED AT LOVE FROM BOTH SIDES NOW!

There are not 'both sides' really, as far as I have come to understand lo these 66 years.

Like I said, I have listened to at least 35 hours of existential/religious youtube debates over the last month or so.

And I would like to continue in discussions concerning all this.

How does one find oneself debating some belief in nonsense?

I think I am committed here.

Some concepts that escape me:

There is no global warming.

The end is nigh, the bible tells me so.

There is no such thing as Evolution.

The unemployment rate is not 4.6% but it is really 44%?

Black people are lazy and are the primary cause of crime in this country and Black Dads always run away from responsibilities

​Ditto Hispanics.

Obama is a Muslim who hates Christianity and  fakes birth certificates and hates White Folks?

All poor people run towards welfare so that they will not have to work?

I shall continue.

But in the end, there is my Granddaughter's query:

Daddy, why am I Noela?

The end for now.