WASHINGTON - Nearly 50 Senators suffered embarrassing internal injuries this afternoon, after Republican Senators - joined by moderate Democratic Senators - obstructed the Senate’s new bathroom rules.
As the Senators prepared for recess, a simple procedural vote was put to the Senators that would allow them to take a restroom break. Quickly, Independent Sen. Joe Lieberman announced a filibuster and demanded that the “Restroom Break” bill be fully funded before being voted on.
While no one was quite sure what Lieberman meant, all 38 Republicans in the Senate quickly joined the filibuster, and were followed by conservative Democratic Senators like Ben Nelson. The filibuster continued for 27 consecutive hours, up until Sen. John McCain’s left kidney exploded and the filibustering Senators began dropping one-by-one in pools of their own urine.
Non-filibustering Democrats had left the Senate Building some 26 hours previously. Despite the foul smell wafting from the Senate floor, Sen. Mitch McConnell called it a clear victory against the Obama agenda.
“We will do anything to stop him on anything he does for any reason,” said McConnell. “We had hoped this would take the piss out of him, but, well, you know.”
–WKW