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    Questions: The Cosmo Compatibility Edition

    It's been a long time since I've written a Questions column, but now that we have so many new contributors and commenters, I think it's about time we get to know each other a bit better.

    Alas, now that online poker has sapped my soul and absconded with my muse to a faraway island, I am forced to look to Cosmo magazine for inspiration.

    Yes, it's true. The other day I was getting my hair cut and I found myself enthralled with a recent copy of the  celebrated magazine. It was quite the read, though I am convinced the entire thing is written by men. I mean, the ideas in an article entitled something like 50 Ways to Keep Your Man were actually good. I wish I remembered one to give as an example, but most of them were indeed quite likely to work if you were a woman looking to keep your man, assuming of course you were willing to basically be someone totally different (like, say, a man).

    Then of course there was the article on what to do if your man has a small penis (apparently, the magazine is written by small-penised men). This I read merely for sheer entertainment of course. And I ripped it out and highlighted key passages for the soon-to-be Mrs. Deadman merely for her entertainment of course. Swear.

    I also ripped out an article which fit my purposes perfectly. It has 10 questions composed by Krista Bloom, PhD and author of 'The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz'. OK, they're pretty cheesy but they're probably not bad for getting to know other people, whether we're talking about a small-penised lover you want to keep or a member of an awesome blog site.

    Without further ado, here they are.



    1) Where is the number one place you're dying to visit and what would you do there?

    Mars. Survive.

    that's a good one. if i thought i could handle the nausea, loneliness, and sheer terror, I'd love to space travel.

    South Africa next summer for the World Cup.

    Can't say Im dying to visit anyplace, but I sure want to go to Italy, eat, lie on the beach, see some great art, and just relax for a while. its been a long time since ive had a real vacation.

    2) What's the biggest risk you've ever taken?

    Return to graduate school after 30.

    Walking away from a career to write a novel.

    that's huge. interestingly, my next couple of posts i think are going to be a bit on what you and nebton did, kind of combining the two thoughts. cant think what biggest risk ive taken was - maybe because its due to my extreme fear of heights, but cliffjumping seems high to me. also probably putting a lot of money into one stock (and that ended up not doing well). but my biggest one is probably to come this october when i get married (gulp!!)

    3) If you could go back in time and change one thing about your life, what would you do differently?

    Stop with my Masters degree.

    I would have asked my mom more questions about herself before she got sick.

    man there are a bunch - Ive written about my regrets in the past. I would learn to ice skate and play hockey. I would have tried out for the football team. I would have lifted weights at a younger age. I would have been more fearless with the ladies.

    The one big moment in my life that if given a chance in the afterlife to play out (it isnt really a regret, because so many awesome things have happened to me because I made the choice, including meeting my beyonce) - I would like to see what would have happened had i not come to new york and switched careers to finance, but instead continued on as a online/TV journalist, moving to head the LA bureau for the online news organization i was working for, which was the other main option on the table when I came East.

    4) Which adventure would you be most tempted to try: skydiving, whitewater rafting, or race-car driving?

    Skydiving. I've already been whitewater rafting, and it's fun, but I crave to do new things.

    Whitewater rafting. Cars are boring and I've always been terrified of falling. I can barely jump off a diving board.

    I think i wouldnt be able to really test out the speed of a race car. hardcore whitewater rafting sounds fun, but because it would be such a leap for me considering my intense fear of heights, Id have to say Id be tempted to try skydiving, if only to say I conquered one of my biggest fears.

    5) What's your most embarrassing childhood memory?

    Being pantsed (when your pants are yanked down to your ankles). I'm afraid it came along with being "a boy named Sue".

    I've blocked them all. I have no idea.

    i think im trying to block them out as well because I know there are a bunch, and theyre not coming to me right now. but since A-man wont reveal his until I go first, I'll just have to say something that Im nmainly just personally embarrased about (not that anyone else knew about it).

    but in our neighborhood, we had this sweet as can be, very old dog. And for some reason, i called him over and held out one of the burs with the sharp spikes that drops out of trees, and pretended it was a treat for the dog (smoky was his name). he took it, bit it, and whimpered, and then growled at me.

    I've never felt more ashamed of myself in my life. I was probably only 8, but i remember it very clearly. to this day, it makes me tear up thinking of it. I don't like to hate anyone, but people that are cruel to animals are as close as I get to that.

    6) Which character from a book, movie or TV show do you relate to most?

    I'd like to say McGuyver, but Urkel's probably closer. Actually, it's probably somewhere in between.

    Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Heh. Just kidding. No idea.

    Peter Pan. just cause i dont want to grow up. and i like wearing green tights.

    7) If you could take private lessons to master any skill, what would you choose to learn?

    Being an astronaut. :)

    Photography or piano.

    singing. followed by the gee-tar. i am dying to be a rock star.

    8) If you could be more like President Obama in any way, what trait of his would you select? (This question was originally written 'be more like me in any way, what trait of mine' assuming I guess that the author intended the reader would be asking her small-penised lover these questions).

    Being articulate. Er, I mean eloquent.

    I'd like to be able to make people feel as good as he does--the way he leans in when he's talking and focuses on them...the shoulder touch...I'm not sure if he's practiced that stuff or if it's just who he is, but it's very cool.

    his coolness under fire.

    9) Would you rather be rich, smart, famous or gorgeous (You can only pick one).

    I'd rather be smart enough to know that I don't need to be rich, famous, or gorgeous to be happy.

    Smart. But then, I've never been rich, famous, or gorgeous, so I don't have all the information I need to make an informed decision. I might revise my answer after I make it on to the New York Times bestseller list and have plastic surgery. :)

    Fame has always been oddly important to me, tho i want to be famous for good reasons, like for some skill i have, meaning i probably need to be smart first. rich is good but certainly not necessary for happiness (and probably sometimes a hinderance). and god knows i am already supergorgeous. mainly id like to be able to hit homeruns with ease.

    i just read you had to pick one. since ive enjoyed my life and the only one of those four i can honestly say i am is gorgeous, i got to go with that. Laughing

    10) If you won a $10 million lottery but couldn't spend the money on yourself, what would you do with it?

    Spend it on my wife. :)

    This is not a question that a former non-profit fundraiser and life-long bleeding heart (not to mention libra) can answer. Too many choices.

    i assume family and friends is included in the exclusion, so I'll have to go with id give half of it the canary foundation to help try to find cancer early, and half of id carry around with me and give out to random people throughout the days.

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