At last, Democrats launched their counterattack. For two years, Republicans have joyfully demonized President Obama, his wife, his daughters, his pastor, his staff, his casual acquaintances, and various socialist subversives running amok in Washington. The only Obama associate to escape withering defamation has been his dog Bo.

With the election only weeks away, Democrats finally decided to get mad as hell. They chose to vent their belated fury on the well-groomed head of House Minority Leader John Boehner. In an ad called Boehner Land, the Democratic National Committee accused Boehner of associating with miscreants like "tobacco lobbyists" and "Wall Street." In a voiceover, an unnamed "Washington lobbyist" alleged that Boehner has "a lot of relationships in this city."

Reading about these dark deeds, you may be wondering, "How do you pronounce Boehner?" You are not alone. According to a recent Fox News poll, 55 percent of Americans have never even heard of John Boehner. The problem with the Democrats' Boehner Land strategy, however, is not Boehner's obscurity. Glenn Beck has made a fortune transforming unkown bureaucrats into villainous masterminds, but unlike the Democrats, Beck knows how to tell scary stories. What's missing from Boehner Land is any sense of imminent danger. Blocking financial reform is not nearly as threatening as Republican warnings about euthanized grandparents, fascist dictatorships, and terrorist babies. If Democrats want to imitate Republican defamation tactics, they need more imagination. Economic collapse? World War III? Giant man-eating Republican squirrels?

Alternatively, they could man up and quit running for cover whenever Glenn Beck yells "Socialist!"

And for the record, it's pronounced Bay-ner.

My book on right-wing paranoia, Blowing Smoke, will be published in October. For updates, click the I Like button on the book's fan page.