The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Man positive oncoming train won't really hit him

    When Norm Rixon woke up this morning, he expected it to be like any other morning with some coffee, news and time with Shifty, his dog. Instead, he awoke tied to train tracks in a dusty location outside Joshua Tree, Calif.

    "I did not expect that," said Rixon, 32.

    Despite his predicament, Rixon said he felt confident things would work out for him.

    "Oh, this will be fine," he said. "There's no way the train will just hit me."

    As Rixon spoke, a small crowd of people gathered nearby. Tanya Hansen, a 29-year-old teacher from San Bernardino said she felt bad for Hansen, but that she wouldn't feel right helping him.

    "I mean, someone went to the trouble of tying him there, right?" she said. "Who am I to change that?"

    Rixon said it wasn't Hansen's responsibility to help him.

    "It's not her problem," said Rixon. "It's going to be fine. Someone will do something. You know, someone in charge."

    As it the train became visible over the horizon, Rixon began to reflect on the choices he made that may have led him to being tied to a train track.

    "Signing up for that 'Tie You to a Train Track and Leave You to Die" contest was probably a mistake," said Rixon, the train within a quarter-mile and not slowing down. "But I didn't think they were serious. Jeez."

    Even in the end, Rixon refused to give up hope.

    "I really think the train will, you know, stop being a train," said Rixon, the train within 100 yards, horns blaring wildly. "Seriously, everyone needs to just stop overreacting. It'll be fine."



    I'm not too concerned about it. The President announced that there's a sobering process that happens when trains run over people.

    Besides, trains can change.

    Fantastic guy. Bet he voted for me. He'll miss Jan 20th, gonna party like there's no tomorrow @realRedDon

    You know Wolfy, THE TRAIN is one of my all time favorite porno films. I....


    Exactly right Wolfie, we have to fight this one ourselves. No one is going to save us. We'd better gear up and fight like those tparty loons, all is not lost yet! 

    So glad to see you again, Wolfe!


    No shit!  I was finally moved to follow him on the twitter, but since I never check my feed it was to no avail.


    Mordant humor will be our refuge in this storm of banal evil that approches.


    Hi, Wolfie how they hangin?


    (Funny how catastrophe brings people back to their reassuring associations (Double A, I'm talkin' to you, and good thing that you walked back into this bar of all the bars in the world...)

    Yes, I immediately came to my safe space ;)

    Ignored the loco-motive.

    They - "They" - keep saying everything will be fine. This is obviously some strange use of the word "fine" that I was previously unaware of. 

    Dr. Fine.

    Latest Comments