Why blogging is better than spitting fire: My face almost never bursts into flames.

August 10, 2010:

News/Politics

Census Bureau Returns Cash: Counting people isn’t as expensive as first anticipated.

Holy Spirit announced today that he has left the Holy Trinity in order to pursue a solo career.

William K. Wolfrum’s Morning – August 6, 2010

Weekend Forecast: Partly cloudy with sporadic outbursts of Coked-up Stimulus Monkeys.

WASHINGTON – Humiliated former U.S. Senator John Edwards has announced to friends that he will likely campaign for the Presidency of the United States in 2012 as an Independent. Edwards will run under a singular campaign platform “What About Newt Gingrich’s Affairs?”

If Bill Cosby would just remember that he made “Leonard Part 6,” maybe he’d rethink his stance on living.

News/Dinosaurs

Iran: Many an Iranian will look back to this day as the day someone almost killed Ahmadinehad.

Despite early failures such as the one above, Jake Tapper has still managed to achieve lofty status in the D.C. media world.

Vampire Babies. Yes, we’ve reached the point of a demand for Vampire Babies. I just have to believe these are the death throes of a dying fad.

Wolfrum’s Word

Is anyone really talking that much about the Pentagon’s inability to account for $8.7 billion in Iraqi reconstruction funds?

Basil Marceaux for Governor. Have a nice day. (Via Mario Piperni)

Being one of the most influential bloggers on the planet is no easy chore. The endless 18-hour work days can be hard on myself, and my family. Plus, the mainstream media and much of the general public have almost no respect for bloggers. And the pay is horrible.

Now, for the first two issues, there’s little I can do. I am dedicated to the craft, after all. But for the money part, I have learned that there is one thing I can do to make this blog lucrative. And that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going Huffington Postisize this bitch.

It was going to be a long day, the day she sat down to write her book. She was positive she could get through this, and it wouldn't take long. She was well known because of her mastery of Facebook, Twitter, and the Big Scam. *More on that later* So she had a seat at her very beautiful desk. This was a desk she purchased from a Real Housewife, and boy was it beautiful. because Teresa Guidice had excellent taste.

How do I know, he asked me if I was investing in gold or selling gold. OMG, this guy, even though he is a landscaper, or some such thing, has three kids, gets his health care from the state because he doesn't make much money, recevies food stamps, and aid to go to school. But he always rants about ObamaCare, socialism, fascism, etc! What? Yes you are thinking the same thing I am. However, Beck is ripping off poor folk, who don't know any better, and I feel bad for them.

Look on the bright side – at least the Gulf of Mexico now looks super-bitchin’ under UV lighting.

Humans – the cure for a tranquil planet.

Paul Briggs does an outstanding imitation of how the Obama Administration handled the Shirley Sherrod video nontroversy.

COLORADO - Hours after admitting that his sexual liason with a male prostitute was a "massage gone awry," Ted Haggard has admitted he is again feeling Gay urges.

"What can I say," said Haggard. "I over-repented and shot straight past being straight."

WASHINGTON – Barack Obama will become the first sitting President to appear on a daytime talk show, as he will join the ladies of “The View” later this week – with one notable exception.

“The Obama Administration made it perfectly clear that he would not appear on the show if Elisabeth Hasselbeck is even allowed on the set,” said an insider at “The View.” “And no one here seems to have a problem with that.”

Let’s take a walk.