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At the White House, there was much rejoicing.

"The contraints on my presidency have been lifted," Obama told his staff.  "For the first time, we can make policy without having to worry about what the left says about us on the Internet.  Now I don't even need the authority to shut the thing off."

Obama then announced the imposition of tax cuts on the rich to pay for the invasion of Yemen and the transformation of Social Security into a retirement lottery.

"Do some on the left object to that?" Obama asked.  Then he added, laughing, "Hard to tell.  Nobody's said so on the Internet!"

Meanwhile, at Republican National Headquarters, Supreme Chancellor Reince Priebus was not so amused.

"Wihtout Internet comments, the Obama birth certificate issue will die!" he hissed to his reptilian lieutenants from the Dantooine system.

"Not to worry!" said his lieutenant, Sur'lock.  "We can bring back The American Spectator and spread our conspiracy theories via paper!"

"Will need money," said Preibus.  "Activate the late night television overpriced gold coin scam.  Redeploy Beck.  Onward!"