William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Statement of Support by William K. Wolfrum on Hero Cliven Bundy

    By William K. Wolfrum on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 8:20am | Humor & Satire

    "Today, noted blogger William K. Wolfrum announces his respect for American Hero Cliven Bundy. Faced with a tyrannical government, Mr. Bundy has shown himself to be brave, pure of heart, and most importantly, a great American. We will continue to support Mr. Bundy in all his endeavors.

    Also, we would like to address the persistent rumors about Mr. Bundy, notably that he has lied about much of his family history. We continue to support Mr. Bundy as we believe the truth can be manipulated and is, for the most part, unimportant to the issue of America being an awful, terrible, no-good country that everyone should hate.

    And while some have pointed out that Mr. Bundy holds racist views, we cherish his free speech and common-sense thinking. While some have pointed out that Bundy is yet another businessman who does little for the nation but sow discord, our support remains.

    Some in the media have pointed out that there are rumors that Mr. Bundy tortures and kills small kittens and has shown certain, undeniable traits with serial killers. Well, we have seen "Dexter" and know serial killers can be great Americans.

    Mr. Bundy is also a shape-shifter ad calls upon Satan to fulfill his desires. We support Mr. Bundy and the freedom of religion.

    In the end, Cliven Bundy may in fact be a Worthless, Lying, Shape-Shifting Serial Killer. But he pisses off liberals and that's good enough for us. So we're behind him 100 percent.

    Thank you for your time and I have retained counsel in this matter."

     

    --WKW

     

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    I think Bundy could win the Republican Presidential nomination. He has the NRA and the GOP South.


    by rmrd0000 on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 10:21am

    You got that right . . .

    And this pretty much seals the deal. Hmmmm... "negro"?

     

    “I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” the rancher began as he described a "government house" in Las Vegas where he recalled that all the people who sat outside seemed to "have nothing to do."

    “And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?” he said, as quoted by the Times. “They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.” (see link)

     

    Which reminds me... There's an old campfire song that goes...

    Last time I saw Clive,
    And I ain't seem him since.
    He was jacking off a bull,
    Through a barbed wire fence.
    Singin'...  Tie my dick to a tree to a tree
    Singin'... Tie my dick to a tree.

     

    Yee Haw... Cowboy!

    ~OGD~

    .


    by oldenGoldenDecoy on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 12:54pm

    One of the things Conservatives love is the beauty of the nuclear family under slavery. 

    Here are comments from the Fredrick Douglass Project at the University of Rochester on the nuclear slave family:

    Life under the "Peculiar Institution": Family Life
    Most slave-owners encouraged their slaves to marry because they believed that married men were less likely to rebel or run away. Others hoped to increase the size of their slave populations by urging (or, as the case may be, forcing) their slaves to marry and have children. By age twenty, female slaves were expected to have given birth to at least four or five children. To expedite the reproductive process, some plantation owners promised to free female slaves after they had produced fifteen children.
     
    Although many slaves did want to get married, several men confided in their autobiographies that they were reluctant to marry women from the same plantation. For example, as former slave John Anderson explained, “I did not want to marry a girl belonging to my own place, because I knew I could not bear to see her ill-treated.” Moses Grandy agreed when he wrote that, “No colored man wishes to live at the house where his wife lives, for he has to endure the continual misery of seeing her flogged and abused without daring to say a word in her defense.” Furthermore, as the excerpts below attest, one of the biggest dangers that married couples faced as slaves was the possibility of being separated from one another. Because the American legal system did not recognize slaves' marriage or family ties, slave owners were free to sell husbands from wives, children from parents, and sisters from brothers. According to a study of records kept by the Freedmen's Bureau, over 32% of slave marriages were destroyed in this way.
     
    Message to scofflaw Bundy, no life would not be better for the people receiving welfare if they were slaves.  Slavery was a brutal, evil institution.

    by rmrd0000 on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 3:16pm

    Forget about 'what conservatives love' say, make up or lie about. You will never change them, 8 years of their man GW Bush didn't change them and slave marriage statistics certainly won't, they are self absorbed hypocrites impervious to reason.

    Talking about 'nuclear families' as a benefit of slavery is nonsense.

    Thomas Jefferson on making money from slave babies, Smithsonian:

    What Jefferson set out clearly for the first time was that he was making a 4 percent profit every year on the birth of black children. The enslaved were yielding him a bonanza, a perpetual human dividend at compound interest. Jefferson wrote, “I allow nothing for losses by death, but, on the contrary, shall presently take credit four per cent. per annum, for their increase over and above keeping up their own numbers.”

    A first hand report on the British capture of a slave ship from 1830:

     She was a very broad-decked ship....She had taken in, on the coast of Africa, 336 males and 226 females, making in all 562, and had been out seventeen days, during which she had thrown overboard fifty-five. The slaves were all inclosed under grated hatchways between decks. The space was so low that they sat between each other's legs and [were] stowed so close together that there was no possibility of their lying down or at all changing their position by night or day....They had sailed from the coast of Africa on the 7th of May and had been out but seventeen days, and they had thrown overboard no less than fifty-five, who had died of dysentery and other complaints in that space of time, though they had left the coast in good health. Indeed, many of the survivors were seen lying about the decks in the last stage of emaciation and in a state of filth and misery not to be looked at....


    by NCD on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 5:56pm

    Thanks for the links. Slavery was an abomination. Slavery cannot be sugar coated.


    by rmrd0000 on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 11:48pm

    "Whatever else might be revealed about the guy, I can't help but prod him into violence because the eventual carnage will make for great television." -Sean Hannity


    by Michael Maiello on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 10:39am

    I have written to the Aqua Buddha, and next President of these United States, that his first act after cleaning out The Great Usurper from the White House should be to issue US paper currency of $1.97, the exorcisement it costs to graze a cow for a month on BLM land in Nevada. 

    Clive Bundy with his white hat would be on the front, and a pile of cow pies on the back, set on a background of happy cotton pickin' slaves. Guns would festoon the edges. Mr. Bundy could then be given the post of Dept. of Land Decider and could figure out who owns what land here or there.


    by NCD on Thu, 04/24/2014 - 11:41am

    Jesus, Wolfrum.

    The man's name is Bundy. What the f*ck do you expect?


    by Qnonymous (not verified) on Sun, 04/27/2014 - 10:01pm

    Married...with Children???


    by Anonymous PP (not verified) on Mon, 04/28/2014 - 1:22pm

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