Normally I only watch CNBC with the sound turned off but this morning I forgot to turn the volume down and Nelson was being interviewed. I say "Nelson" because the little capitalists were "stroking" Nelson shamelessly, he warmly responded to their cues and as I do with T.V. characters like "Dexter" and "Roger Sterling" I began to think of "Nelson" as a friend. I felt so much at one with Nelson and his worship of capitalism that I overcooked my oatmeal and then spilled my skim milk.

About breakfast--Nelson is a noted investor in "food" and runs the Trian Fund. He has doubled and trebled his wealth by investing variously in Wendy's, Arby's, Snapple, Cadbury, and most notably in this morning's money-orgy discussion, the Kraft foods company. I must admit I felt a momentary lapse in my adoration for Nelson because all the food "brands" I just mentioned I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, and count part of my longevity to having avoided consuming such "brands". (Of course, that's just my opinion and not the opinion of the management of this site.)

Nevertheless I continued to be fascinated by Nelson's success and such topics as Kraft's strategy to spread their food products to the emerging societies around the world. And when Nelson was cued to offer his political views, and feigned reluctance to do so, he nevertheless spelled out the capitalists' view of the current political scene.

Even though Nelson was bothered by Rick Perry's religious right affiliation and things like prayer meetings in stadiums, he thinks that Perry will keep the extreme left wing Obama agenda from destroying life as we know it. Nelson thinks Obama should do what LBJ did, just step down and throw the primary open.

Further, Nelson thinks the rise of the Tea Party was a reaction to the extreme left wing policies of Obama, esp. in health care. And of course the President's plan to raise taxes on rich people like him is the most alarming left wing attack on capitalism in memory.

It's funny how Nelson's investment philosophy mirrors his reality check of American consumers. There has been a great bifurcation of consumers (great antiseptic and distanced view of you and me). You have the high end, you have the low end, not much in the middle. So, to understand Nelson's capitalist approach you have to dig this capitalist jargon: "Tiffany and Dollar Stores are a dumb bell" and emulating Nelson one should invest in either end of the dumb bell but not in the middle. Dollar Stores is one end of the dumb bell. I can't wait to finish this blog and get me a piece of the American dream, the dumb bell, Dollar.

Nelson is salivating not just over buying part of the dumb bell but the possibility of buying the entire Dollar Store company--the whole dumb bell.  He said, in effect, "For years the 'Dollar Space' was the backwater of investing. Then strapped consumers who had no money discovered the wonderful retail space of Dollar. Then even higher level consumers who had been shopping at Walmart moved into the wonderful Dollar space."

In other words Nelson is pointing out that what remains of the middle class who before would occasionally have down shopped at Walmart have now jumped lock stock and barrel into a--backwater.

So the societal reality that Nelson wants to protect by voting for Perry--and Nelson's own strategy of investing in a dumb bell--are one in the same thing!

So, kudo's to Nelson for being consistent.

To summarize, there is no middle class, taxes should not be raised on the rich, and anyone who can't afford shopping at Tiffany's should discover the wonderful world of Dollar Stores. (Four foot pipes are attached to shopping carts so that people can't get through the turn style and steal the cart. Wait, that might have been at Dollar General, Dollar Basement or Dollar Dump)

And that, my friends, is my new friend Nelson's view of a proper capitalist society, the politics of Perry, and the wonderful world of making money. Question for Nelson: Is there another wonderful shopping world even further below the wonderful world of the "Dollar Space"?  Because that's where we're headed under the twin prospects of financial  and religious oppression in a government controlled by Rick Perry and the Tea Party.

That part of the world which Nelson helped design for us I try to avoid if I can. I don't think Nelson himself would be caught dead inside an Arby's or shopping for cooked to death green beans in a can at Dollar Stores Nor for that matter do I think he would enjoy cavorting with the religious zealots who form the center piece of Perry's entourage. However, Nelson does love supporting and investing in dumb bells. And he makes a fortune doing it. That's why, on balance, I consider "Nelson" to be one of my best T.V. friends. And I hope you have enjoyed meeting him.

Update: Nelson, as our society further bifurcates, here are some reader suggestions for the sub-dollar-space. Limbo Marts (or perhaps Limbaugh Marts), Beck Bonanza's, Perry's Used Bibles, and Peltz Plaza's--which is the resale of damaged "returns" from the Dollar Space.