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Michael Maiello's picture

Abusing the Stock Market

Today, His Fraudulency Tweeted that recent stock market volatility is all about investors worried that a Democratic-controlled House will "harass" him in its oversight role.  I don't know why the stock market has been more volatile lately.  I have some ideas, and they aren't very surprising. Here's a quickie list:

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Michael Maiello's picture

Fun at the Ballot Box (Election Open Thread)

Voting from the safety of a blue, blue state, I get to have a little more fun with my ballot than a lot of people in battlegrounds.

Sorry, Andrew Cuomo -- you'll win anyway, so I voted for Howie Hawkins.

Sorry, Kirsten Gillibrand -- I couldn't resist writing in a vote for Al Franken.

If you're a friend of mine, I might have written you in for New York Supreme Court or for Civil Court judge. Let me know if you win.  You're welcome!

Anyway, here's an election open thread.

 

 

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Michael Maiello's picture

Birthright Citizenship is Important

I highly doubt that the President can use an executive order to nullify an amendment to the Constitution, but I do take seriously that Trump will attempt to end the notion that anybody born on American soil can lay a claim to citizenship. It's all about who challenges him and what the law allows, after all.

The arguments against "anchor babies" is soundbite ready. As Trump puts it:

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Michael Maiello's picture

Your Liberal Media

Wow.

Mr. Trump’s aides have repeatedly warned him that his cellphone calls are not secure, and they have told him that Russian spies are routinely eavesdropping on the calls, as well. But aides say the voluble president, who has been pressured into using his secure White House landline more often these days, has still refused to give up his iPhones. White House officials say they can only hope he refrains from discussing classified information when he is on them.

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Michael Maiello's picture

The Tears of a Billionaire

Elon Musk is having a no-good, horrible, terrible year says The New York Times, which devoted a massive amount of space to an article with four bylines and an additional reporting credit at the end to the litany of Musk’s complaints.

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Michael Maiello's picture

Service Guarantees Citizenship

In the dystopian Starship Troopers an Earth at war with a race of sentient insects solves its military recruiting problems by tying military service with the right to vote.

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Michael Maiello's picture

"They're Not Sending Their Best..."

Of the many foul things His Fraudulency has said about the asylum seekers who cross our southern border, one of the worst has been that they are "not sending their best" people.  It's an obvious slander and it's also just downright audacious for anybody comfortably in America to deny the obvious courage, skill and perseverance that it takes to journey from Guatemala, through Mexico and then into the United States.

Michael Maiello's picture

The Politics of Personal Immunity

Last night, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and entourage were booted from the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, Virginia by a co-owner who just couldn’t bring himself to serve a servant of the Trump Administration and boy was she mad about it and boy are the usual suspects, members of the namby-pamby D.C. press commentariat concerned about civility, too.  This on the heels of Trump adviser Stephen Miller and Department of Homeland Security Head Kirstjen Nielsen being heckled by fellow diners while separately trying to dine out on high end Mexican food.

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Personal Information

Website
http://www.dagblog.com
Superpowers

Figure Four Leglock.

Favorite Quotes

Jet flyin, limo ridin, kiss stealin, wheelin, dealing, son of a gun!

Biography

Michael Maiello (also known as "Destor23") is a New York based columnist, performer, fiction author and playwright. He is the author of Shuts & Failures, Rejected New Yorker Pieces (Also Rejected by McSweeney's!). He worked for ten years at Forbes Media, writing and editing for both Forbes Magazine and Forbes.com and also appeared frequently on CNBC, Fox News, Fox Business News, CNN and MSNBC.  He is also the author of the 2004 book Buy The Rumor, Sell The Fact: 85 Wall Street Maxims and What They Really Mean. He has performed stand up comedy at The Laugh Factory, The Comic Strip and the Philadelphia Fringe Festival, Mama D's Arts Bordello and The Lost and Found Show. He has had four plays published (Night of Faith and Waiting For Death by Playscripts.com; Principia and Troy! Troy! Troy!by The New York Theatre Experience/indiethieatrenow). He has written for Rolling Stone, The Daily, Reuters, Esquire, McSweeney's the Liar's League reading series and theNewerYork.

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