I don't have to imagine that. When I got out of the computer business I did many different jobs to try to work as little as possible and still pay the bills. For two years I worked at home health care for a rich old man. I spent 48 hours every weekend at his house to give the week day women her weekend off. Just helping him out of bed, got him dressed, got him his meals, helped him to the bathroom etc. Made enough those 48 hours that I had the other 5 days off.

When he finally had to get a catheter and urine bag it was so humiliating that I think it killed him. It was just too demoralizing for him to have a bag of piss hanging on his walker he just gave up.

No more cough balls for you, Doctor!

Cheese balls, they never falls - certainly not when cold, it's high, tight and outta sight. (unless you like those jockey shorts, which ironically aren't for jockeys)

Balls are subject to grade inflation, or the soft bigotry of high expectations. And just as reality has a liberal bias, balls usually lean to the left as well - as paraphrased by Wan Hung Lo in the Art of War - something a good secondary will pick up in a tough game.

But the scenario of 11 or 12 (dis)honest men doing a bag check is technically "balls to the wall". Reminds me a bit too much of Bowie & Mercury, but if that's the way you swing (well, not "you" specifically, obviously), have at it. "Pressure Drop" before 100,000 screaming fans - hardly the "We Are The Champions" one'd expect.

"Swing low, sweet chariot" - ever wonder what that song was really about? Sometimes you're just dragging 'em home, a bit like Sisyphus but different - more like a donkey in a rut - and you know how them donkeys hang. (certainly not 11 or 12 in a circle jerk)

So like the proverbial turd in the punch bowl, we got shriveled balls in a Super Bowl. We expected more of our titans. And how did we get to "game ball" anyway? sounds a little mutilated and manipulated - kinda like "last man standing", but with only 1 left, doubt he's too erect. At least I'd be thinking about a doctor more than the next boudoir. Call me a ballless wonder (how many l's in that word?) - haven't followed sports in decades, just those cute ball girls at Wimbledon. But they have a license to handle those orbs.

Still, while everyone talks about the Qback clutching his pearls/handling his man-thing, what about the special team that's required to kick for him in the balls - wouldn't the soft touch keep it from getting to the upright position? And while the kickoff takes place with each half and touchdown, this is the first time I heard confirmed the jerkoff (AKA circle jerk) takes place before game time. Funny the life lessons sports teach you. Like keep your eye on the ball, learn to keep more than one ball in the air, don't put your balls on the line unless you're willing to back it up... but still in the end, it's only a ball game - tomorrow's another day.