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                 Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqowmHgxVJQ

Well now, that wascal Brer Fox hated Brer Rabbit on account of the fact that Brer Rabbit always seemed to win.

Meanwhile Brer Rabbit was receiving accolades and victorious medals and other sorts of good things from the Far East to the Far West. He was renowned across the globe, not just in his little briar patch and tens of thousands of mammals of every mix and religious affiliation would come to listen to what the Great Hare might have to say.

Oh the Great Hare could use the podium with his great linguistic talents and the audience would be transfixed by his eloquence. And so Brer Rabbit would receive even more accolades and victorious medals and other wonderful sorts of things. And even though there were many colored rabbits and possums and wart hogs, they all put away their suspicions and loved Brer Rabbit even more.

Now Brer Fox was exceedingly ired over the victories of the Great Hare from the start for he had thought, this strangely colored rabbit would never reach any real level of power. And yet, there was Brer Rabbit looking down at the Brer Fox from levels on high.  Well Brer Fox became much aggrieved.

So Brer Fox decided to capture and kill Brer Rabbit if it was the last thing he ever did! He thought and he thought until he came up with a plan.

And in furtherance of this plan, Brer Fox decided to start a campaign against Brer Rabbit and began organizing all of the possums and all of the rabbits and all of the wart hogs and all of the bush rats he could find.

Now normally the possums and the wart hogs and the rabbits had no problem with Brer Rabbit. The foxes and the bush rats would always hate Brer Rabbit for a number of reasons.  For one thing, Brer Rabbit was better read and better speechified.

The fact was that all these other fine animals had one big fear and that was of foxes and rats. But I digress.

Anyhow, Brer Fox began his campaign after he had come up with a plan. He would plan and execute a great gathering.

And prior to this great gathering, he would make a tar baby! Brer Fox went and got some tar and he mixed it with some turpentine and he sculpted it into the figure of a cute little Tasmanian Devil Possum. Then he stuck a hat on the Tar Baby and sat him in the middle of the great arena, just before the great gathering he had advertised on his own network.

Brer Fox also dressed up as a rabbit before the great gathering. And Brer Fox told this audience that had gathered there to protest injustice and stuff in that vein; that Brer Rabbit was nothing but a tar baby Tasmanian Devil Possum all along. He proved to them all beyond any unreasonable doubt that since Brer Rabbit had no proper papers, that Brer Rabbit's color was questionable, and that he was really a Tasmanian Devil Possum. Now everyone knew that Tasmanian Devil Possums were evil and that Tasmanian Devil Possums desired all that was unjust and that all Tasmanian Devil Possums must be destroyed.

Now there were black rabbits and white rabbits and yellow rabbits. And there were dark possums and light possums and striped possums. And there were cuddly wart hogs and spiny wart hogs.

For some reason all bush rats were white but that is another subject. (There were exceptions like the Steele Black bush rats, but that is an entirely different subject) But them Foxes were all red with envy as they say.

Anyways, there was always some disgruntlement between the black rabbits and the white rabbits and the yellow rabbits which could not really be helped; and disgruntlements tween the possums and the rabbits which could not really be helped. Nobody was really disgruntled about wart hogs; I mean wart hogs would always be with us anyway.

So the Tea Rabbit stood up and asked Brer Fox as the gathering was in progress:

Does this mean that Brer Rabbit aint no rabbit t'all?

Well, said Brer Fox, I must take Brer Rabbit at his word of course. He certainly claims to be a rabbit, after all.

Well I does not thinks that Brer Rabbit is a rabbit t'all. I thinks Brer Rabbit is one of them Tasmanian Devil Possums fer sure.

Well this is Amerika after all says Brer Fox ...and we all have the right to our own opinions.

Brer Fox said this fully knowing full well that Brer Rabbit was a rabbit after all but the fox was sly and knew that if it ever got out that there was no Tasmanian Devil Possum, the fox might find himself in hot water. Ha!!!

Now, there was no problem being a possum. I mean it must have been a natural state of being since there were so many of them.

But all were afraid of the Tasmanian Devil Possums since they tended to go over-board being possums and liked to blow up things and such.

Well, soon after this egregious slander and libel developed from the machinations of the fox, a great number of rabbits began questioning whether or not Brer Rabbit was a rabbit after all. As a matter of fact 27% of all rabbits began to believe that Brer Rabbit was really a Tasmanian Devil Possum.

The possums were starting to question whether all the other mammals thought all possums were evil and were much aggrieved.

The bush rats just kept screaming that all possums were bad anyhow.

And the wart hogs....well the wart hogs just wanted to stay out of the entire fray; which was a natural state for wart hogs.

Brer Rabbit was befuddled. I mean the Great Hare did not particularly go on record that he despised possums. He even had some possum in his blood seed as it were.

And Brer Rabbit had thought this entire libelous slander about his being a Tasmanian Devil Possum was...well it was absurdist to the mostest extent.

I mean nobody seemed to CLAIM that his wife or his children were possums. And if Brer Rabbit rancidly declared that he was no possum t'all and that he hated and detested all possums, well then all of the possums from the Far East to the Far West might hate him indeed.

So all Brer Rabbit could do was to declare that he certainly was no Tasmanian Devil Possum and that he was indeed a rabbit. After all, the Great Hare smelled like a rabbit, looked like a rabbit and reproduced as a rabbit, as they tend to say. But this did little to protect him from the slings and arrows of outrageous spokesmen.

Then Brer Rabbit came up with his own plan.

Brer Rabbit would prove that Brer Fox was indeed a fox dressed up in rabbit clothing.

So the rabbit gathered all his consularies together into one great meeting hall. And after consulting with all these great minds, Brer Rabbit hit upon his own plan.

And the Great Hare sent out a proclamation to his minions. And with pictures and with tapes and videos, a new message was sent unto all the mammals.

The pictures showed Brer Fox roasting and eating rabbits.

And the audio tapes showed Brer Fox telling his friends what idiots the rabbits were.

And the video tapes showed Brer Fox receiving great funds from the bush rats and laughing and joking about how they would once again gain power.

And the rabbits and the possums and the wart hogs were astounded by such findings.

And there was jubilation in the forest.

And the k was taken out of America.

And all was well with the world.

Except for the devastation felt by the bush rats and the foxes of course.

And Brer Rabbit skipped away as merry as a cricket while Brer Fox ground his teeth in rage and went home.

The end.

http://americanfolklore.net/folklore/2010/07/brer_rabbit_meets_a_tar_baby.html