Is there no man, then, who, for prayer or hire,

Will wake our comrade who's so far behind?

A thief might easily rob him and bind.

See how he's nodding, see, now by cock's bones,

As if he'd fall down from his horse at once.

Sister Sara strolled to the podium with aplomb after gazing down  Pawlento with laser eyes as if to remind him that he must watch her valuables as she leaves her seat.

I am Sister Sara and I do more than just sit on my ass!!!

The crowd doth swoon wildly at such exclamations.

Treaties with ferriners are abounding whilst our borders are teeming with barbarians. Treaties that threaten our national safety.

 I say nay; nay to all that!!!

But I hast a story, a tale to tell of erring knights and forest creatures to buttress my present complaints against the traitors who run this country:

It was All Hallow's Eve night as the knight traversed the badlands in search of the prize. He had traveled for days and days and now had to seek some shelter from the storm.

 

Just then a lightning bolt struck the tree just to his right when Jerome, his faithful steed startled, buckling as if under a great weight. Sir Tantalus was thrown to the ground, unconscious and vulnerable to all sorts of threats from nature and from evil spirits haunting the attendant woods.

 

Our knight awoke, barely recalling what had befallen him the night before, in a green pasture with the sun glowing. It was morning he surmised due to the dew on the grass and the urge to empty his bowels. Suddenly he scurried into the woods, relieving himself and then falling to his knees thanking the Lord our savior that he had had the good sense to don his swaddling clothes prior to employing his armour.

Tantalus proceeded into the pasture and was immediately approached by the Grand Moose of the Realm. Wilbur, Wilbur cried the Moose...or at least it seemed so by the ears of the knight.

I am not Wilbur you gosh darn four legger...by the way have you seen Jerome? The knight inquired only passably concerned that the woodland creature appeared to speak to him. Why not play along, Tantalus thought? I have nothing to lose.

I do not know any Jerome, but you shall address me as GM as in the Grand Moose of the Realm.

 Would not that be TGMR?

 GM will do fine. Now if you are not to be addressed as Wilbur, render unto me a moniker I may get my antlers around.

I am Sir Tantalus, a knight errant seeking truth and justice in an immoral world.

Oh my God (the moose not able to bless himself goes down on three knees) a liberal.

Well liberal with the ladies, but what business is this of yours you antlered demon?

Don't tell me. You were raised a Catholic in a small village and taught about The Graces and your duty to your fellow men. You think that tithing is a grace and that you must empathize with the forlorn and the hungry and the...well the generally inept beings who occupy this veil of tears. Is that it? And how much thinking in this vein has been done by your tiny brain, eh?

 Well wait just on gosh darn minute here you....the knight began.

 Shut up and hear me out for Christ's Sake (due to a little arthritis, the Moose simply nodded and looked up to the heavens) you erring knight. I have listened to this type of squirrel dropping for eons for I have been Grand Master in this wood for centuries. You would speak of feeding the poor all to make yourself aggrandized. All the alms do is make you feel superior and grander and better than you really are. . If you would simply walk on by, walk on by the dispossessed they would learn to fen on their own and for their own. MYOB is what I always say.

Oh and that is not good enough for you liberals, you wish to fix the entire world with grand legislation to go with your grand purposes and your even grander oratory. You wish to build an entirely different society whilst the peasants are happy in their discontent. Yes, I said happy in their discontent where they can blame family members and community leaders and outside agitators and infirmaties...well they can blame anybody or anything except themselves.

Oh the peasantry goes to church and admits its sins and even goes to PTA meetings once in awhile, but the peasantry does not like change, does not want change and hates anything that stands for change. Give me that old time religion is what I always say.

Defense that is what we need is defense. Or that is what we must tell the peasantry.  We must WARN the peasants of outside influences, outside forces and outside agitators. The Commies will get you all. The terrorists will get you all. The Hispanics from the Southlands will get you all.

 Unless you hire us to defend you and keep you safe; safe from all change.

 The sick? The dying? We are all going to die, that is you mortals are and you mortals are all going to get sick. Universal health coverage; what the hell is that anyway? It will just cause our grand aristocracy more money so that we can no longer afford planes and ships and art objects and....Well, those people who build the planes and ships for the rich and sovereign people. Where are they going to find work? And besides...

 Do you comprehend anything of these things, foolish erring knight?

Frankly I lost you at PTA. What is  PTA anyway? I am attempting to do God's work in this veil of tears. Right now I seek to find the Lady Diana who seems lost and aching and cannot find her way home. I am seeking her on my way to the Grail for I have sworn to find the vessel of charity.

You just cannot understand the truth when its antlers are staring you in the face? You do not go on a task sent you by Our Lord & Savior sir, no siree you do not. You seek pleasure with a fine woman while you claim noble aims. Chivalry, what is that anyway? Wouldst thou think I am the fool?

And wouldst thou ever turn the other cheek to butt loving barbarians? Of course you would not dare. Ye take them on and strive to slay them at every opportunity.

You better think. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0y2dDlFmLg

 Just then a helicopter appeared in the skies above the glen and bullets were fired into the regal torso of the moose. The Grand Moose of the Realm was no more.

Now this knight, this Tantalus awoke from this dream in the morn, in the mud and in a mood for all seasons.

 But like St. Paul who was struck down from his horse, the knight found his Lord & Savior. And it was at this point our erring knight discovered the sins he had been carrying for some time.

From that day forward, Tantalus wanted for nothing and figured that went for the rest of humanity.

The End

Now what can we all learn from all this? Well you might receive some good advice from a moose once in awhile, but they sure can make better eating.

This government is by the people, of the people...and so forth just like it says in the Constitution and don't be fooled by moose or abortionists or them gay fellas.

And stay away from death panels.

You betcha!!!

The crowd rose to their feet in exultation 

Sir Newt turned to Yeoman Haley:

Where in God's name (blesses himself and sends it to the pope) did she get that awful accent?

Haley coughed up this large piece of potato and demurred, thinking that Sir Newt was one to talk; so to speak.

Nice ass though, you have to admit.

Haley responded: I appreciate her ass. Good solid thighs too; hard to find beauty and shape on dumb animals with such sturdiness.

Boy, it would make me delIght if only I could dight her now.

See the two previous chapters:

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/d/i/dikkday48yahoocom/2010/04/the-canterbury-tales-the-great.php?ref=reccafe

http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/d/i/dikkday48yahoocom/2010/04/canterbury-tales.php