Today after much delay and fanfare, Richard Bruce Cheney accepted his Nobel Prize for Peace. Here are excerpts from his acceptance speech:

Ladies and gentlemen, I am truly awed by these proceedings and gratefully accept this highest of honors. I would say that I am truly humbled, but I have refused to be humbled during my entire term upon this earth. Humble does not get you anywhere, ladies and gentlemen. It gets the guy you are humble toward everywhere.

Remember, you must believe that you are better than any other man in the room to get anywhere in this pitiful world.

After being elected last year as President of the United States of America, I have finally reached the pinnacle of my success.  I am, at last, the most powerful man in the world. Heh. And don't anyone forget that.

I have worked for the best three presidents of the last century including the best: Richard Nixon. Then Ronald Reagan. And then George H.W. Bush. I also was Vice-President under George Bush, Jr. who let me lead the greatest nation on earth for some four years until he got testicles and screwed up just about everything I was attempting to accomplish.

It was only with God's aid and comfort that I was able to become President of the single greatest country in the world. Well God's help and the military coupe but that is another subject for another time.

I would also add at this point a promise from me to you. We intend to remove our protective forces from Norway as soon as the Socialist Government is dismantled and the fifteen oil companies I nominated are fully installed as THE government of the United Bergs of Norway. 

Anyway, I believe that the new policies of my New Administration will do more for democracy and peace than any policies of any previous administration in the greatest country on this planet. Here is a list of the ten most important policies:

 

1. Free elections will be instituted immediately by every country on Earth. Choices for candidates will be duly issued by our government over the next three months. NO ONE ELSE WILL BE ALLOWED TO RUN FOR ANY NATIONAL OFFICE ANYWHERE. Unless a variance has been granted by the newly created American Commission on Candidates.
2. If anyone is elected to a national office of any country on the planet that has not been previously allowed under this new World Plan, we will invade that country and set things right.
3. All voting machines will be manufactured by the Liz Cheney Memorial Computerized Democracy Corporation of America. No other forms of ballot counting will be allowed or, again we will invade your country. Don't worry about costs. There will be coupons and two-fer-one deals and all that sort of nonsense. Just PAY ATTENTION TO THE EXPIRATION DATES ON THE COUPONS.
4. Enhanced Interrogation Initiatives are 'in' now folks. That's right. Torture is in and I have never been afraid of that word. Torture is one of God's gifts to mankind and if you do not believe this just watch the drama '24' sometime. Works every god blessed time and everyone in this room knows it. Your son wishes to smoke dope and sing commie songs? Just smack him around and tie him to a chair--with a hole in it-- over a toilet and let him think about it for a week or so. Boy he will change his hippie tune.
5. AMERICA bows to no one. Ever. You will notice that as I sit in my wheel chair right now, I am bowing to no one. But all my greeters here have bowed real low. Notice that, did you? Heheheh. As an aside it's funnier when the taller ones bow.
6. People have been sending out the rumor that America will no longer enter into treaties. Let me assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. America will continue to enter into treaties with all nations on this planet. The difference is this: AMERICA IS WRITING EVERY SINGLE PROVISION OF EVERY SINGLE TREATY. End of discussion.
7.  As you may have already heard, the Fox News Network will be installing proper radio and television stations throughout every single country on this globe. It has been made the official News Network of the United States of America. And, in fact, the only News Network of our country. If you have any questions concerning these installations in your area contact our Ministry of Information. Glenn Beck will be more than happy to have someone answer any questions you may have.
8. People appeared to be concerned that NATO has been disbanded. Well nothing could be further from the truth. The NATO Headquarters has been relocated to Podunck, Wyoming. Eventually 75 nations will be officially part of NATO and all conscripts, from all of these member countries, will enjoy their initiation as a Soldier for Christ in Podunck, Wyoming.
9. There will be an American Tax upon all citizens of the world. A use tax as it were. If you drink water, you will be paying America its rightful tax.
10.  We do intend to incorporate India and China as the fifty first and fifty second States in the United States of America.

 

I thought it apt to publish these Ten Points For a New World in this sacred place. It is truly a sacred place now that all previous awards given to communists and terrorists have been duly returned under my order.

And remember, guns don't kill people. They just kill people I do not fancy.

Thank you for this great Prize.

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And for those who think I am pulling all this out of my tight and angry Irish ass, here are excerpts from two interviews of Cheney by Fox News. The first was with pucker face Wallace  and the second with fascist Sean Hannity:

August 2009

CHENEY: Well, you think, for example, in the intelligence arena. We ask those people to do some very difficult things. Sometimes, that put their own lives at risk. They do so at the direction of the president, and they do so with the -- in this case, we had specific legal authority from the Justice Department. And if they are now going to be subject to being investigated and prosecuted by the next administration, nobody's going to sign up for those kinds of missions. 

It's a very, very devastating, I think, effect that it has on morale inside the intelligence community. If they assume that they're going to have to be dealing with the political consequences -- and it's clearly a political move. I mean, there's no other rationale for why they're doing this -- then they'll be very reluctant in the future to do that. http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/08/30/raw-data-transcript

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CHENEY: Absolutely. I think the fact is, the Justice Department has already reviewed the inspector general's report five years ago. And now they're dragging it back up again, and Holder is going to go back and review it again, supposedly, to try to find some evidence of wrongdoing by CIA personnel. 

In other words, you know, a review is never going to be final anymore now. We can have somebody, some future administration, come along 10 years from now, 15 years from now, and go back and rehash all of these decisions by an earlier administration. 

The fact of the matter is the lawyers in the Justice Department who gave us those opinions had every right to give us the opinions they did. Now you get a new administration and they say, well, we didn't like those opinions, we're going to go investigate those lawyers and perhaps have them disbarred. I just think it's an outrageous precedent to set, to have this kind of, I think, intensely partisan, politicized look back at the prior administration. 

I guess the other thing that offends the hell out of me, frankly, Chris, is we had a track record now of eight years of defending the nation against any further mass casualty attacks from Al Qaeda. The approach of the Obama administration should be to come to those people who were involved in that policy and say, how did you do it? What were the keys to keeping this country safe over that period of time? 

Instead, they're out there now threatening to disbar the lawyers who gave us the legal opinions, threatening contrary to what the president originally said. They're going to go out and investigate the CIA personnel who carried out those investigations. I just think it's an outrageous political act that will do great damage long term to our capacity to be able to have people take on difficult jobs, make difficult decisions, without having to worry about what the next administration is going to say. 

WALLACE: If the prosecutor asks to speak to you, will you speak to him? 

CHENEY: It will depend on the circumstances and what I think their activities are really involved in. I've been very outspoken in my views on this matter. I've been very forthright publicly in talking about my involvement in these policies. 

I'm very proud of what we did in terms of defending the nation for the last eight years successfully. And, you know, it won't take a prosecutor to find out what I think. I've already expressed those views rather forthrightly. 

WALLACE: Now that he has been in office for seven months, what do you think of Barack Obama? 

CHENEY: Well, I was not a fan of his when he got elected, and my views have not changed any. I have serious doubts about his policies, serious doubts especially about the extent to which he understands and is prepared to do what needs to be done to defend the nation. 

WALLACE: The report says that you disagreed with the President's decision to halt water boarding, you agreed with his decision to close the secret prisons, you disagreed with his decision to reach out to Iran and North Korea. Is that true? 

CHENEY: Well, we had policy differences, no question about that, but to say that I was disappointed with the President is not the way it ought to be phrased. The fact of the matter is, he encouraged me to give him my view on a whole range of issues. I did. 

Sometimes he agreed. Sometimes he did not. That was true from the very beginning of the Administration. 

CHENEY: Oh, I'm a junky, I guess, all those years. I spent more than 40 years in Washington, and enjoyed, obviously, the people I worked with, wrestling with some of the problems we had to wrestle with. I enjoyed having the CIA show up on my doorstep every morning, six days a week, with the latest intelligence. 

WALLACE: You miss that? 

CHENEY: Sure. 

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December 2009

HANNITY: Mr. Vice President, good to see you. Welcome back.

FORMER VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY: It's good to be back, Sean.

HANNITY: Enjoying vacation?

CHENEY: I am. It's -- getting more hunting and fishing done these days, and it's true before, but I'm also working on a book, spending time with my family.

HANNITY: Is it going to be a tell-all, name-names, kind of book or..

CHENEY: Well, I think most of us believe, and most presidents believe, and talk about the truly exceptional nature of America. Our history, where we come from, our belief in our constitutional values and principles, our advocacy for freedom and democracy. The fact that we provided it for millions of people all over the globe, have done so unselfishly. There's never been a nation like the United States of America in world history.

And yet when you have a president who goes around and bows to his host and then proceeds to apologize profusely for the United States, I find that deeply disturbing.

That says to me, this guy who doesn't fully understand or share that view of American exceptionalism that I think most of us believe in.

But the fact that he spent so much time agonizing over it is the way I would think about it. Everybody is watching. The Taliban are watching. The Al Qaeda are watching. The Afghans who are on our side are watching.

And when they see hesitation, uncertainty, lack of clarity from an American president, they begin to think that the Americans aren't going to be here very long. They begin to think that the Americans are going to bail out sooner or later, and when that happens they'll be left behind with the forces of the Taliban, for example.

So then you see governments in that part of the world start to shift their alliances and their friendships. For example, just in the last two weeks the prime minister of Kuwait has gone to Iran on an official visit -- first time in 30 years.

Why did he do that? Well, he wants to make sure he's got a foot in all camps. And they worry about declining U.S. influence and the U.S. is uncertain and hesitant, the conclusion they draw from that is that the United States is not going to be there for the long term.

CHENEY: I mean that the -- I think it'll give aid and comfort to the enemy. . http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,579828,00.html

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SUMMARY OF INTERVIEWS

First and foremost people, Cheney's interview with Wallace should mark a point of shame for Wallace for the rest of his days.

Cheney maintains that his Administration made us safe for eight years. Bullshit. We were attacked after these assholes had been in power for eight months, had been duly warned of an approaching danger and chose to ignore those warnings.  His boss--figuratively I guess--chose to remain on vacation over 40% of the period leading up to the attack. And do not forget the eight minutes w sat reading Mother Goose to children that will remain in video for a thousand years. And when you see the look, the expressions on that dolt's face as he is continually interrupted from his child's playbook with the news, you KNOW that he was the wrong person for that job.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rO3F6mZUaE

Now at the time that we were attacked, Cheney's Administration looked so inept, so incompetent that he decided we would take a full turn to fascism by this country. No more constitutional rights FOR ANYONE except his corporate friends of course. No more peace keeping, just war mongering.

Now you can review whatever lies you wish to emphasise in either of these interviews. But the one yesterday made me so goddamn mad, it is hard to properly express that anger:

I mean that the -- I think it'll give aid and comfort to the enemy. I think it will make Khalid Sheikh Mohammed something of a hero in certain circles, especially in the radical regions of Islam around the world.

This fascist, nazi, war -mongering corporate shill just called MY PRESIDENT a traitor...took the words right out of Article III of our Constitution. All the while it is Dick Cheney who represents a clear and present danger to the American People.

It is my personal opinion that this man, Dick Cheney, is the single largest threat to democracy in this country as well as to the rest of the world.

I think that it would be best for all of humankind for Dick Cheney to be executed for his transgressions against the American People as well as the Constitution.

Oh I would allow him the due process he would and has denied all but his closest friends like Scooter. Indict him, try him, and execute the son of a bitch.

And following indictment, issue an order that he have no access to the press.

Others seem to agree including Rep. Grayson: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036697/#34352265

Oh and watch this Donald Deutsch discussing Tiger and then asked by Matthews about Cheney:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036697/#34352646

Deutsch actually is now my favorite pundit. He straight out calls Cheney evil. I now love Donald Deutsch. Among other things Deutsch says  "This is an evil and dangerous man" I pray for this kind of honesty to breach the airs of MSM and Grayson and Deutsch delivered.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNXjZJ_0OSg&feature=PlayList&p=51461098D80B8E32&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=9