Well to start all this off, I think we should all sing along to the Woo Hoo Pokeman Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-I7Z7swNMs

Woo hoo Woo hoo    Woo hoo Woo hoo    Woo hoo Woo hoo        

All righty then. Senator John Ensign began his carreer in a similar vein to Lindsey Graham:

In 1994, Ensign won the Republican nomination for Nevada's 1st congressional district, based in Las Vegas. He was far behind four-term Democratic incumbent James Bilbray for most of the campaign. However, Ensign gained considerable momentum after reports surfaced that a Bilbray aide stood to make a huge profit from lands legislation sponsored by Bilbray.

So basically, Ensign was one of those revolutionaries riding into Congress with Gingrich Wave, capitalizing on the rising tide of fascism in this country with the added benefit of taking on an opponent charged with graft. And like Lindsey, Ensign rose to the level of Senator and had the opportunity to vote for the impeachment of Bill Clinton for moral failings. The Las Vegas Sun has reported:

The one-time mistress and campaign treasurer of Sen. John Ensign saw her salary double during the time of the affair, according to federal election documents.

It seems that Cynthia Hampton, doubled her pleasure and her fun as her salary went from $1400/month to $2800/month during this version of Wife Swap. Her boy even got into the act picking up over five grand for his help on Ensign's campaign.

Doug Hampton had been earning about $160,000 annually since he started on the senator's payroll on Nov. 8, 2006. He was one of the top paid aides in the office, receiving pay equal to the senator's chief of staff. http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/jun/17/ensign-resigns-gop-leadershi...J. Patrick Coolican (contact), Lisa Mascaro (contact)

Okay then. Well we gotta lotta things going here, do we not?  I mean we have a man who is a:

Born again Christian (I suppose he could get born again again? I mean what is to stop this? And further mistakes and he could do it again and again and again)

Promise Keeper. Thanks to Steve Katz, I was given a link to this wonderful organization. It claims five and a half million members. Of course this would be hyperbola but it tells me there are more than a million who think they are promise keepers and I would think that Senator Ensign will not be asked to speak at their yearly convention any time soon.

Minority Leadership Positions in the Senate. Not anymore.

Potential Presidential Candidate. Come on, get serious.

Senator from the great State of Nevada. Let us see about that.

Well the Senate has its own ethics rules. And it will be fun to see how the ethical considerations play here. Cannot you see the answers to some of the questions without even seeing the questions:

A.         Ms. Hampton showed real development in her role with the campaign and I felt it important that she be rewarded for her new found production.

B.         Ms. Hampton's role in the campaign shifted at the time of her raise, due to her newly discovered talents.

C.         There are others in my Senate Office and in my Campaign that are charged with deciding the proper monies that should be paid to employees, I am above such things.

Well I could go on and on here.  But how best to defend a brother in a situation like this? Well Lindsey has come to the defense:

In an interview with Politico about Sen. John Ensign's recent admission of an affair with a campaign staffer, Sen. Lindsey Graham said he had his own secret "sins."

"I think he will be welcomed back by his colleagues and go back to being a good senator," said Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), who said Ensign shouldn't have resigned his leadership spot.

Graham downplayed the political impact this would have on the GOP, saying, "Most Americans look at this as a personal situation."

Graham let out a laugh and said: "I've got plenty of sins that I'm not going to share with anyone else." HuffPo.

Well what kind of sins could we be talking about here?  Both Graham and Ensign gave wonderful speeches about how and why Clinton should have been impeached; one in the House and one in the Senate.

I usually do not go for Chris Rock's style of humor although it turns out he is a great dad and a great husband in spite of his spiels. But he did a great monologue about Clinton during the impeachment process. Basically he was saying:

I mean he cheated on his wife and lied about it. IS NOT THAT WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO?

He was asked about extra marital affairs and he lied about it. IS NOT THAT WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO?

But our friend Lindsey, he thinks that Ensign's problems are personal in nature. And after all, everybody has some sins they are not going to share with anyone else. I mean where is the forgiveness here? Where is the understanding?

Well I checked out the web.  And it appears that our southern friends in South Carolina, the capital of the Confederacy--forget that Richmond stuff--have some misgivings with our bachelor Senator. Well the Charleston City Newspaper has come questions back in September of 2007:

Is Lindsey Graham gay?

At 52, the life-long bachelor has been fodder for such rumors for years, but with the resignation of Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho -- the anti-gay politician who pled guilty to disorderly conduct after allegedly soliciting sex in an airport men's room -- the internet is abuzz over who's next, and they're dying to know what's going on in Graham's bedroom. Is it the latest grasp for the light switch in South Carolina's powerful political closet? Or the inevitable labeling of "closet-clinging self-hater" that befalls any content bachelor?

Mainstream media often avoids asking older, single politicians what they do in their free time. While there were rumors dating back 25 years, it wasn't until blog reports about Craig trolling cruisy D.C. restrooms that The Idaho Statesmen put a reporter on the story. And even though they held the story until after Craig's arrest was made public, some still accused the paper of orchestrating a witch hunt.

When GQ asked last year, Graham wasn't mean, just dismissive. He said he's not gay, just a loner. But that denial isn't stalling renewed interest in the question. In a post on who's next out of the closet following Craig's arrest, blogger Michael Signorile (www.signorile.com) first points a questioning finger at Graham. http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A32974

In another blog site called 'Down With Tyranny" it was noted that:

Lindsey Graham (R-SC), an unmarried/never married 52 year old with a funny, forced way of walking, has been far more fastidious with his homosexuality. Again, "everyone" knows-- except the voters in conservative South Carolina. Not that it doesn't come up from time to time; people talk. In fact, the head of the Democratic Party in South Carolina said something when the effeminate Lindsey decided to run for Thurmond's senate seat. "He's a little too light in the loafers" to succeed Strom Thurmond. Graham got into a really queenie tizzy fit and loudly threatened to sue-- although he didn't. (They never do.) http://downwithtyranny.blogspot.com/2007/02/is-lindsey-graham-homo-does-pope-go.html

Look, normally I would not care if Lindsey is gay or not. But if he is, he is just another son of a bitchin' repub living his double life, projecting phony standards that do not apply to him. He and Ensign speaking out against gay rights, for phony Constitutional Amendments, challenging Democrats as being against 'family values'; its all a bunch of hooey.  But we must remember that Lindsey, he took over the seat of one of the biggest hypocrites in history, old Strom Thurmond. 

'Segregation now, segregation forever.  Except in my bedroom'