The intrepid journalists at dagblog.com have just confirmed that there is to be an important presidential election on Tuesday. We've suspected as much for some time due to the official-looking voter information cards we received in the mail, sporadic accounts in the media, and an annoying volume of emails and text messages from some spammer named Barack Obama. But we were unable to confirm the rumor until we went online and googled "election."

Our philosophy at dagblog.com is: If something happens: blog it. Our other philosophy is: If something happens: drink. Our other other philosophy is: You can never have too many philosophies. For these reasons, we invite the public and the non-public to our Blog, Drink, and Other Philosophies Election Party at the Village Lantern this Tuesday.

Dagblog will live-blog the election results on one of the big screens. Stephen Colbert, who wishes he were a dagblogger, will say stuff on one of the other big screens. And the rest of us will drink $3 buds/yuenglings and $5 cosmos while scarfing 50-cent wings and $2 mini-burgers as the results come in. As a special bonus, dagbloggers Genghis and Deadman will celebrate simultaneous birthdays at midnight. If all goes well, we'll have something much better than our birthdays to celebrate.

PS The party nexus will be at the back of the bar, but they'll still serve you in the front if you ask nicely.

PPS If you don't vote for Obama we'll hate you forever. Even if he is a spammer.

FYI Poll closing times.