I lost her again. Damn! said Sir Quixotic as he carefully blessed himself. He proceeded to the southwest on the path towards Justice as he remembered it.  He recalled his old estate as he proceeded on the quest.  He recalled his old trophies and the wife that he had lost. He remembered in his younger days the battles with Uther the Pendragon at the lead. All his friends were dead and gone. His clothes now haphazard where once he paraded with Kings and danced proudly with blue blooded ladies. Fighting Hengst and Horst, the Saxon barbarians. Oh how times change. Tempus Fugit. O Tempus O Mores.
Lost lines no longer relevant.

As our hero proceeded, two youngsters, sons of the Hundred Knights were waiting in a grove of trees. Hidden from view of all travelers. With mischief in their minds.

Look, the fool. The fool with a bucket on his head riding on old nag. Let us go and scare him. Doubt there would be much to steal but we could always use a new saddle. Besides there might be some treasure trove in his saddle. And there is something about the shield that is intriguing. Said Squire Darl.

What of knightly honor? What of the Code. Methinks you are amiss in your thinking, brother. Responded Squire Darrel.

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear, did it make a sound. Methinks you are the coward.  Taunted Squire Darl.

Do you really think that our deceased and honored father would want us to become robbers and thieves. I think not!!! Answered Squire Darrel.  This is not a good idea. But I am coming with you because I wish to ensure that the Old Fart is not injured.

The two teens ran down the short hill from the grove toward Sir Quixotic. Fathering speed as they approached.

Look Silver. The phantoms that would take us from our path toward Justice.  Slowly he unhinged his jouster and headed directly towards the boys. Shield up and ready. May Our Lord Jesus Christ deliver me to a new world or enable me to defeat these agents of evil!

The lone knight headed directly toward the phantoms and there was a collision, ignoring the pain, the old veteran looked back and the lead knight was on the ground, wrenching in pain. One down and one to go; in the Name of Jesus Christ my Savior; HI HO SILVER, AWAY.

The William Tell Overture could be heard in the background.

The young phantom, still ahorse, turned his head, What is that music over there in the backgrounds?

Oh my god he is coming right for me.

Just as he said it, Sir Quixotic nailed his foe, sending him to the ground.

HAHAHAHA. (The old knight always laughed in capital letters.) Sir Quixotic was so proud and the adrenalin rush so soothing, he forget his old pains. As he turned to further his quest, he noticed that Justice had evidently turned around to see the commotion. She smiled. And she awaited his return to her.                                                                          

As he approached the small hill Justice and her steed were set upon, his anticipation rose. He felt a new adrenaline rush streaming into his body. His head was flushed. Without the rush he would have broken into tears of joy. Elated he arrived finally to his destination. He just sat on his old nag in rapture as he eyed his true love.

Justice smiled with an endearing look. Blinking slightly. Red lips and soft pale skin with a hint of pink on her cheeks. Her long flowing yellow hair with a type of fig leaf crown. She was more beautiful than he had ever imagined.  Come with me she said.

He dismounted as she did and Justice led Quixotic to a beautiful pavilion that had just appeared no more than fifty feet from their horses. They entered and were thus protected from the elements and mortals who might threaten.

The night was so much of fantasy and he felt urges and surges he had long forgotten The feel of a beautiful woman who desired him as much as he desired her. Together in all things.

We must leave the two lovers to their carnal and spiritual endeavors.

Oh what a night
Late September of four eighty-three
Ah my Lord what she did for me
What a lady what a knight
dododododododododo

O what a night
How I dreamt she'd come to me
Make me the Knight I always thought I'd be
What a lady what a knight
dododododododododo


Weary days and weary nights
Near despair and almost in pity
Nothing seemed to ever matter to me
What a lady what a knight
dododododododododo



Meanwhile, back at Camelot....

The Equity Court also known as the King's Bench was open for business.

HEAR YE HEAR YE HEAR YE - THE EQUITY COURT OF OUR DEFENDER OF THE FAITH KING ARTHUR IS HEREBY IN SESSION

The Honorable Sir Scarborough presiding.    

The Civil Section of this Equity Court is hereby calling the civil calendar. Clerk will you please call the first case.

Calling the case of Merrimack v. Monitor, summoned the clerk.      

A woman of about thirty approached the King's bench on the Plaintiff's side and a woman in her mid twenties appeared on the Defendant's side.


Will you please give your names, Plaintiff first.

Your Honor I am Hilde Merrimack from the Village of Lamark

Your Honor I am Mary Monitor from the Village of Darwin.

Now my understanding is that Hilde is claiming to be the mother of a little Tory.  Is that correct Hilde?

Sir, I beg you to give me my little boy back. I suffered the pangs of child birth in my home at Lamark, the child being fathered by my dear departed husband Mark a local forger.

Now my understanding Mary is that you claim that little Tory is your child is that not true?

I gave birth to my little Tory in my home at Darwin. The father was a traveling barker who has since gone to parts unknown.

So no matter how I decide this matter, little Tory will reside in a one parent home? Is that not correct Hilde?

Oh no sir.

But did not inform me that your husband was dead, that you are a widow?

Oh my dear Mark has departed to the nether worlds but his brother Todd drops by most of the time to look in on me, so to speak and provides me with foods and other gifts and I also receive monies from the widow's fund.

The widow's fund? You mean that you receive monies for doing nothing?

Oh Sir, I have to maintain my home and care for my Tory, if you let me.

Next thing you will be telling me that you own a Cadillac.

Sir, what pray tell is a Cadillac?

Never mind. Mary, how are you going to care for little Tory now that the barker has gone to places unknown?  Did you not think about what you would do with a baby when there was to be no man at home?

I was promised his hand in marriage dear Sir. And he told me he loved me and that he was a true Christian man.

Oh Tempes Oh Mores!  Hilde, when was the last time you saw your Tory?

A fortnight ago. I had left him in the yard to play with his dog Fluffy while I entertained his uncle.When I came back outside following the entertainment, little Tory was gone.

Oh My Lord & Savior Jesus Christ redeem us all.  With that all persons in the courtroom knelt and blessed themselves.

Mary, when was the last time you saw your little Tory?

Sir, I had gone to the market with my little Tory, and I was pulling the little cart in which he was riding. We were going to get some ripe tomatoes. You know this is the time of year when the finest tomatoes are delivered to the market, not those little button type of tomatoes, but the big red ones that taste so sweet and are so juicy and they make your mouth feel so fine and they do clean out your system, if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge and we were both so excited about this buy and well....

That is enough. We are not here to discuss any tomatoes. What happened to the child while you were on your way to market?

We were on the street when a big monster with a snake coming out of his head. And the monster took my little Tory.

Holy cow!! Now I have heard everything. Is there anything anyone of you would like to add?

I WANT MY BABY BACK, PLEASE SIR called both the women.

All right, I will retire into my chambers and return shortly with my decision.

During this recess, as always the county bard appeared with entertainment and broke out into song:

Are you hoping that Scarborough's Fair
Please come forth and give me your plea
Remember please to tell me the facts here
The Law is whatever that I may so deem

I will decide between the parties here
If you're lying you better feel fear
Remember that I will always be near
Perjury will take all that you hold dear

Judge Scarborough reappears with a writ in his hand and a scowl on his face.

I have before me two examples of the despicable products of our time, a time of licentiousness, a time of feigned religious belief with absolutely no reverence for the teachings of our Lord Jesus Christ.  With that all knelt and blessed themselves.

Welfare moms who will sleep with whomever comes through the door with a loaf of bread and a smile and a lame promise.  If the government had not begun to provide for the worthless and the irreverent and the irrelevant things like this would never, never , never have happened. It is impossible that both parties here lost their child at the same time.  But there are no other witnesses, fathers are dead and gone or just gone. I frankly have had enough.  Neither of you would know the truth if it entered you where your baby had exited.

Therefore this is my decision.  Tory shall be cut in half, one half going to Hilde and one half going to Mary.

I want the head called Hilde.

I want the head called Mary.

Judge Scarborough ordered that both women be hung by the neck until dead.

The clerk then called the next case:

Cartwright vs. Anders, please come forward.

From the back of the courtroom Cartwright yelled: Its OK. Everything is worked out. Do not worry. Thank you for your time.

All the rest of the parties ran out of the courtroom for their lives.