Personal Information

Superpowers

Biography

Jollyroger admits that he did work his way through stripper school as a lawyer, but since graduating he has rehabilitated himself, and profits no longer from the misfortune of his brothers, but from the lust of his sisters instead. He is currently on the 60 day DL (too fat); Until he is called back up to the show, he is temping as an inventor.

Favorite Quotes

* Favorite Quotes

REX VISIGOTHIS:"I believe in less than enough feed, just enough speed, more than enough weed, and way too much pussy"

BERNARD EIBER: "You write like a god"

KATHY SISSON: "You fuck like a god"

SUZANNE FARRELL: "Someone had to be eliminated, and poor Roger was the most expendable"

VANESSA FARRELL: "You have such a pretty dick"

MY SISTER: "He wasn't always like this...you should have seen him before all the acid.  My God, he's a Woodrow Wilson Fellow!"

MY MOTHER: "So I told his father, 'Look Manny, let's don't kid ourselves.  All he really wants to do is get high and get laid..."

History

Member for

2 years 31 weeks

Blog Posts

Mayor Rob Ford, Toronto, Too Fat to Smoke Rock

by jollyroger 6/1/2013 - 6:45 am

I have become famous amongst my friends for my florid contempt for cocaine.

So much so that when "chopping it up old school" they don't even bother to put out a line or two for me.

It is overpriced and underpowered.

I have snorted the red pharmaceutical ye-yo,  and I have smoked free base with Phaedra Grant (NSFW!!!) 

I believe that when the cocaine comes ripping round the corner, speeding towards my brain, it takes one look at the accumulated body burden of years of amphetamine ingestion and simply crawls off into a corner whimpering.

Still, it will.come as no surprise that I have known a crack fiend or two in my tme. [Read more]

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If John McCain thinks it's a good idea...

by jollyroger 5/29/2013 - 8:40 am

Never one to leave a press release lacking his name, John McCain (R, Getoffmylawnville) is free lancing foreign policy again. As usual, he gives guidance to the thoughtful: "Caution, this way lies madness".

McCain, last seen in a Baghdad market touting our prior venture into Sunni-Shia sectarianism ( that one went well...) now urges " arm the anti-Assad rebels...what could go wrong?"

Hint: Think The Thirty Years War.  [Read more]

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The voice of that woman is worth listening to

by jollyroger 5/24/2013 - 9:49 am

I have seen the better angel of Obama's nature, and her name is Medea Benjamin.

 

The odd applause line from yesterday's seminal speech which may ( we humbly pray) in future times be cited as the start of sanity's triumph over societal paranoia. By the time Prez elicited audience approval for his concession, the redoubtable Code Pink founder had been forcibly ejected (not for the first time), [Read more]

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New Jersey Transit explains half billion Sandy damage with fully blacked out document, because, security.

by jollyroger 5/13/2013 - 8:53 pm

Although my sister lives in New Jersey, I have been blissfully unaware of the post Sandy travails besetting New Jersey Transit due to some demonstrably poor pre-storm planning (must visit more)

Leaving aside the substance of the matter, we learn this amusing if alarming detail:

When asked by the Bergen Record for a copy of their prestorm planning documents (New York City's Transit Authority has a 5 volume treatise) the responsive document, entitled "New Jersey Rail Operations Hurricane Plan” required only 3-1/2 pages.

Beyond astonishing brevity, not much can be said about the document - it was blacked out except for the title.

WTF!!?? [Read more]

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Your surveillance dollars are not well spent!

by jollyroger 5/6/2013 - 7:11 pm

Zacarias Moussaoui in August, 2001, attracted FBI attention yet eluded investigation despite floridly odd public behavior.

Tamerlan Tzarnaev, ten years and trillions of anti terror dollars later, attracts FBI attention, then maintains a floridly pro jihad ( public) YouTube channel , yet eludes further investigation.

Obviously, our security apparatus is overworked in the war on terror.

(I suggest triage: withdraw funds from the war on drug users.)

Put another way, if they weren't watching 750,000 people ( Tamerlan's watch list compatriots ) maybe they could have picked up his channel.

If they weren't watching him, who the fuck were they watching?

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Four Dems Throw Down

by jollyroger 4/18/2013 - 2:17 pm

Begich, Baucus, Heitkamp, Pryor.

They have made clear their party affiliation.

The appropriate, indeed, sole remedy is available in the next primary.

If any of these four escape a primary, we on the left can occupy the toilet. Outcome, notwithstanding. They must be primaried for the sake of minimal cred.  BTW Obama has to endorse the primary challenge

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yet none may call it genocide...

by jollyroger 3/15/2013 - 4:01 pm

From the Annals of Inhumanity:

Place: Lebanon, the Palestinian refugee camps of Sabra and Shatilla.

Time: 1982.

Dramatis Personae: A gunman from the Israeli ally militia, a just-orphaned 10 year old boy, a cameraman.

Action: Immediately after killing the boy's father, the Israeli surrogate takes careful aim and kills the child. Horrified, the cameraman asks "Why did you kill that boy?" Gunman replies, "He just watched me kill his father. When he grows up, he will have but one goal in life-killing me, or someone just like me. I'm not going to let him grow up."

From the Annals of the Affirmation of Life in the midst of despair: [Read more]

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The patriarchy strikes back; it is bestial, it is brutal. It is Moloch, and it is consuming its daughters.

by jollyroger 3/8/2013 - 5:43 am

From the PBS Newshour, a story so frightful that it will shake your humanity to the core, in horror that your species includes amongst it the sort who would perpetrate the foul crime described.

Briefly, in a spasm of rage mimicked (it is estimated) 5000 times each year, a family of rich Pakistanis stalked and murdered its daughter and grandchildren.  Her crime--she married a poor man. [Read more]

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Chicago message to NRA: Take your high capacity magazines and your sexy semi automatic rifles, shove them up your ass and proceed directly to Hell. Thank you for your attention.

by jollyroger 2/28/2013 - 12:09 am

I have studiously avoided as much as possible viewing the pictures of the slaughtered children from Sandy Hook.

 

It makes my heart explode, and I really am not right for hours thereafter.

 

Sometimes I get caught unawares, like I just did by Chris Hayes sitting in for Lawrence O'Donnell, in the prelude to discussing yesterday's  primary in Chicago.

 

Chris segued directly from the Senate testimony of a bereaved father to the consequential crushing of the NRA "A" rated Debbie Halvorsen. (Rot in hell, Debbie)

  [Read more]

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Don't like living in a country with a gerrymandered House? Well, then, move!

by jollyroger 2/25/2013 - 5:32 pm

A modest proposal.

 

Some among you of an esoteric (and perhaps senescent) character may remember the story of that jewel of kundalini yoga, Bhagwan Rajneesh.

(My friend "Nada", one of the many girls who revolutionized the sex industry upon the dissolution of Rajneeshpuram, used to say in her exotic South African accent, "Bhagwan was like heroin"-and she should know...but I digress.)

Back in the day, Bhagwan, perhaps under the goad of needing someplace to park his 18 Rolls Royces, or maybe merely seeking privacy, led his adherents to the sleepy town of Antelope, Oregon. (population who-knows-what, but small enough) [Read more]

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